Respectful

Can we all agree to respect our official incoming regional leader? I intend to refer to him as Dr. Joseph Biden, Designated Governor, Mei Guo Province, Greater Chinese-Pacific Co-Prosperity Sphere. Doesn’t that sound respectful?

 

Your Vote Still Matters

Your Vote Still Matters

 

Your real votes
still count as much as
our fake ones.

 

–Tom Riley

 

No Hell below Us

No Hell below Us

 

The LDS don’t really have a Hell—
Though Brigham Young once made a manly joke
About orisons working as a spell
To damn his enemies. He merely spoke
In Gentile terms, appealing to the folk
Who wondered how the Mormon Prophet prayed.
He wrapped his ego in a vengeful cloak
And hoped his foes would thus be made afraid.
The Mormon afterlife, though, doesn’t trade
In pain. It’s full of promise, doesn’t show
The face of rage if you don’t make the grade—
As most do not. There are exceptions, though,
And being one has been Mitt Romney’s mission.
Hurry your faggot ass, Son of Perdition!

 

–Tom Riley

 

Georgia Turns Blue

Georgia Turns Blue

 

RINOs backed China Joe and his whore
After Trump seemed to say: This is war!
Chumps would not get excited—
And the Left was delighted.
They got right to work stealing some more.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Gamma Boy Seeks Equals; Object: Venery

Gamma Boy Seeks Equals; Object: Venery

 

At night he dreams of endless sex
With big-brained girls from Planet X.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Revenge of the Nerds

Revenge of the Nerds

 

Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
After you’re gone, mere dweebs will criticize
And find in criticism dweebish bliss.
Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
Archers inferior, who always miss,
Will push the narrative that they are wise.
Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
After you’re gone, mere dweebs will criticize.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Empty Lawn Syndrome

Empty Lawn Syndrome

 

The weeds you
slew, dear landscaper, were, sadly,
my only friends.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Speaking Moistly

Speaking Moistly

 

Jimmy Mattis and other such queers—
Some who haven’t been heard from for years—
Now derive an erection
From the stolen election
As they moistly speak forth deep state fears.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Cultural Revolution

Cultural Revolution

 

“In the foul past we now cease to soak.
Let the works that we read all be woke—
And, at most, a year old!
On the future we’re sold!”
In your brain’s bank account, though, you’re broke.

 

–Tom Riley

Clearer Vision

Clearer Vision

 

She cut my hair – but, friends, I needed that!
The blind see so much clearer in a while.
I smelled perfume. I should have smelled a rat.
She cut my hair! But friends: I needed that.
A strong man cannot be an autocrat.
When pillars fall, the doomed judge gets to smile.
She cut my hair. But, friends, I needed that.
The blind see so much clearer – in a while.

 

–Tom Riley