Respectful
Can we all agree to respect our official incoming regional leader? I intend to refer to him as Dr. Joseph Biden, Designated Governor, Mei Guo Province, Greater Chinese-Pacific Co-Prosperity Sphere. Doesn’t that sound respectful?
Can we all agree to respect our official incoming regional leader? I intend to refer to him as Dr. Joseph Biden, Designated Governor, Mei Guo Province, Greater Chinese-Pacific Co-Prosperity Sphere. Doesn’t that sound respectful?
Your Vote Still Matters
Your real votes
still count as much as
our fake ones.
–Tom Riley
No Hell below Us
The LDS don’t really have a Hell—
Though Brigham Young once made a manly joke
About orisons working as a spell
To damn his enemies. He merely spoke
In Gentile terms, appealing to the folk
Who wondered how the Mormon Prophet prayed.
He wrapped his ego in a vengeful cloak
And hoped his foes would thus be made afraid.
The Mormon afterlife, though, doesn’t trade
In pain. It’s full of promise, doesn’t show
The face of rage if you don’t make the grade—
As most do not. There are exceptions, though,
And being one has been Mitt Romney’s mission.
Hurry your faggot ass, Son of Perdition!
–Tom Riley
Georgia Turns Blue
RINOs backed China Joe and his whore
After Trump seemed to say: This is war!
Chumps would not get excited—
And the Left was delighted.
They got right to work stealing some more.
–Tom Riley
Gamma Boy Seeks Equals; Object: Venery
At night he dreams of endless sex
With big-brained girls from Planet X.
–Tom Riley
Revenge of the Nerds
Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
After you’re gone, mere dweebs will criticize
And find in criticism dweebish bliss.
Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
Archers inferior, who always miss,
Will push the narrative that they are wise.
Trouble with fame, Odysseus, is this:
After you’re gone, mere dweebs will criticize.
–Tom Riley
Empty Lawn Syndrome
The weeds you
slew, dear landscaper, were, sadly,
my only friends.
–Tom Riley
Jimmy Mattis and other such queers—
Some who haven’t been heard from for years—
Now derive an erection
From the stolen election
As they moistly speak forth deep state fears.
–Tom Riley
Cultural Revolution
“In the foul past we now cease to soak.
Let the works that we read all be woke—
And, at most, a year old!
On the future we’re sold!”
In your brain’s bank account, though, you’re broke.
–Tom Riley
Clearer Vision
She cut my hair – but, friends, I needed that!
The blind see so much clearer in a while.
I smelled perfume. I should have smelled a rat.
She cut my hair! But friends: I needed that.
A strong man cannot be an autocrat.
When pillars fall, the doomed judge gets to smile.
She cut my hair. But, friends, I needed that.
The blind see so much clearer – in a while.
–Tom Riley