Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Powers

Powers

 

 

Your powers of comprehension, sir,
Are far more limited than Hell.
What, do your tiny neurons stir?
Your powers of comprehension, sir,
Are those of an untutored cur
Goaded by some deceptive smell.
Your powers of comprehension, sir,
Are far more limited than Hell.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Grand Opening

Grand Opening

 

 

They are lining up outside the door.
When it opens, why, then, in they’ll pour
As they have in the past!
You can bet they’ll move fast.
They could not really tell you what for.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Civilization

Civilization

 

 

“Civilization’s coming to an end!”
“I never really liked it all that much
Anyhow.” “Monstrous forces now contend.
Civilization’s coming to an end.
Into the chaos we shall have to blend.”
“That just might make it hard to keep in touch.”
“Civilization’s coming to an end!”
“I never really liked it all that much.”

 

 

–Tom Riley

Run Like Hell

Run Like Hell

 

 

Sir: your car doesn’t work as it should.
It breaks down in a bad neighborhood.
Move your ass! Run like hell!
Isn’t exercise swell?
Out of evil, your sweat brings great good.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Paradise Lost Again

Paradise Lost Again

 

 

For your own good, dear John, way too smart,
Under torture, you shaped your rich art
And made syllables fire
Past a reader’s desire.
Now to read you most don’t even start.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Pisser

Pisser

 

 

We’re getting in a micturation match?
I’m warning you, you pisser: I shall win!
Horses escape. You’ve just undone the latch.
We’re getting in a micturation match,
Are we? Oh, you can piss – but there’s a catch.
I can piss farther. Get it? Let’s begin!
We’re getting in a micturation match.
I’m warning you, you pisser: I shall win.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Coping

Coping

 

 

As the emptiness yawned overhead,
Did our hero conclude hope was dead?
No, he went right on hoping:
It was his way of coping
While his mother despaired in his stead.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Powerfully Built

Powerfully Built

 

 

The first lady shtick – oh, alas! – ends.
Then a duller life duly descends.
But distractions are strong
On the streets of Hong Kong.
I am glad that Michelle’s found new friends.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Powerfully built women mug expatriates in Hong Kong.)

Pimple

Pimple

 

 

“Shut up, pimple!” I said. Did he stop?
No, indeed: he had reaped a new crop
Of thoughts meriting scorn;
A new discourse was born!
I was silent – and prayed that he’d pop.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Power of Positive Thinking

The Power of Positive Thinking

 

 

Sir: although we have only just met,
Your acquaintance I’ll never regret.
You have something to say
That is smart in its way.
But you sure haven’t said it, sir, yet.

 

 

–Tom Riley