Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: 2016 presidential campaign

Hillary’s Defeat

Hillary’s Defeat

For her victory all elites longed—
And pursued an attack multi-pronged.
They’re pursuing it still—
With more brashness than skill.
The hard fact remains, though: she got schlonged!

–Tom Riley

Little Marco

Little Marco

Marco Rubio: he was Rick’s guy—
And he should have won, too. Rick will cry
For the rest of his days
Over that. Now Rick plays
For the leftist side, lie after lie.

–Tom Riley

Evidence

Evidence

 

“Any good prosecutor can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich.”

—Sol Wachtler

Mueller’s ready again to indict!
That means evidence. Evidence! Right?
Lad, don’t be so benighted!
Sandwiches get indicted.
There need never be one fact in sight.

 

—Tom Riley

Diabolus Novus

Diabolus Novus

 

 

I do not take responsibility—
For Putin-sponsored hacking made me do it.
All of my neurons finally agree:
I do not take responsibility
For any act attributed to me.
I’ve never been to blame. I always knew it.
I do not take responsibility—
For Putin-sponsored hacking made me do it.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Hackable

Hackable

 

 

Disappointment in Democrat backers.
Simple dread in perennial slackers.
Children choke in dismay.
Lousy weather today.
For these things, let us blame Russian hackers!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Campaign after the Campaign

The Campaign after the Campaign

 

 

Facebook leftists share anti-Trump memes
With great zeal. Hell, they form posting teams!
Let the wailing begin!
Will this crap do Trump in?
Will it slow down his pace? In their dreams….

 

 

–Tom Riley

Too Far

Too Far

 

 

Now this time, people, Trump has gone too far—
Far worse than the too far he went before!
We never guessed that he had this in store.
He hit hard when we only meant to spar.
Having wished on a more progressive star,
We were assured that time would wage our war
For us. But Donald Trump’s outrageous score
Keeps rising – and it’s outraged that we are!
This time, we’re sure, he’s done his own ass in.
His bonfire will be soon just one weak ember.
His Twitter tricks, we’re sure, are growing thin.
His rhetoric we’re moving to dismember.
He can’t recover from this latest sin.
We’ll crush him like a bug – as in November.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Pussy Nation

Pussy Nation

 

 

Pussies showed up in droves to protest.
They would not, I knew, give it a rest.
How the crowds of pink swelled!
But the cat wasn’t belled.
Here’s the truth, pussies: voting works best.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Yet More

Yet More

 

 

“We have yet more excuses in store!”
They exclaim, every huckster and whore
That the party can boast.
What upsets me the most?
Democrats are becoming a bore.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Veniunt Russiani

Veniunt Russiani

 

 
“Russians stole the election!” they cry.
Rules of evidence do not apply.
Jealous mainstream reporters
Are now testing the borders.
Have they mastered fake news? Well, they try.

 

 

–Tom Riley