Evacuated to the Enemy
The Ukronazis got evacuated
All the way into Russian custody.
A triumph – as Ukraine has clearly stated!
The Ukronazis got evacuated!
The truth in such reports is what is hated.
How obvious can all these liars be?
The Ukronazis got evacuated—
All the way into Russian custody.
–Tom Riley
Der Untergang des Banderavolkes
Ukronazis surrendered. Their tune
Changed completely. Their magical rune
Failed to save them. They’re done.
NATO? Still having fun.
They’ll recruit some new Nazis real soon.
–Tom Riley
Further Moments of Triumph
Ukronazis surrender, heads spinning
Despite NATO advice underpinning
All their excellent schemes:
It’s the stuff of bad dreams.
Still, I’m sure that Ukraine must be winning.
–Tom Riley
Hero Worship 2022
“Heroic Azov Nazis….” Cross that out!
“Heroic Azov fighters….” Yeah, that’s better.
It’s only Russian bots who ever shout
“Heroic Azov Nazis!” Cross that out!
Their Nazi status once we did not doubt—
But now it pays to be a swift forgetter.
Heroic Azov Nazis? Cross that out!
Heroic Azov fighters! Yeah, that’s better.
–Tom Riley
Neo-Con Humanitarian Zeal
What? Ethnic cleansing in the Donbass? Hey,
If Russian speakers didn’t want to learn
Ukrainian, then fuck them up, we say.
To hell or Moscow let them all return.
In how these pricks were treated, we discern
No crime. If 14,000 of them died,
They no doubt had it coming. Russkies earn
Their fates. Request for sympathy: denied!
When Putin intervened, though, then we cried
Aloud that decency must be upheld.
Our moralizing we declined to hide.
Tremendous teardrops in our eyeballs swelled.
We didn’t let our rush to judgment stall.
No, sir. We are the good guys, after all.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 