Unity of Purpose

Unity of Purpose

Leftists and neo-cons march arm-in-arm
Against what Mother Russia seeks to do.
Mark Levin yields to Biden’s goofy charm,
And Victor Davis Hanson giggles, too.
Volodymyr’s a hero: get a clue!
His tranny status only makes him cuter.
His distance makes our right-wing figures blue.
They wish he’d be a close, attentive suitor.
Instead, his intellect, like a computer,
Evaluates logistics with precision.
Toward glory he is racing on a scooter
Powered by courage, principle, and vision.
Neo-con hearts back here go pitter-patter.
Stand with Ukraine, you know. What else could matter?

–Tom Riley

New Way

The New Way

More advanced Catholics now know the way
To be pro-life in truth – for they say
The old way’s a distortion.
They are fighting abortion
By supporting it day after day!

–Tom Riley

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

Biden went in his pants. Was it pee?
Maybe so – but most noses agree
That the shit was far worse.
Dr. Jill belched a curse:
“This is all Putin’s fault, seems to me!”

–Tom Riley

NATO Intervention

NATO Intervention

If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!
Joe’s angry – and inclined toward fierce attack
If only NATO ceased to hold him back.
Heroic valor? That he doesn’t lack!
Just ask him and he’ll answer fiercely: “What?”
If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!

–Tom Riley

Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

“I shall stand up to Putin – and Xi!”
Says Joe Biden – while taking a pee
Down his leg, long and hairy.
“Let those tyrants be wary!”
Both are laughing uproariously.

–Tom Riley

Signs of Weakness

Signs of Weakness

“Why did Vlad the Invader not go
Forth invading when Trump – who we know
Was his puppet – was there
In the White House?” Don’t care—
Just as long as you’re not blaming Joe!

–Tom Riley

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Putin has screwed the pooch, says Stephen King.
Jerk failed to realize that Hero Joe
Would make him pay the price for everything.
Hey, Stevie’s confident – and he should know.
Although this isn’t quite his horror show,
He understands the genre thoroughly:
He understands how things are bound to go
With incarnations of monstrosity.
Biden is sure to force Count Vlad to flee
As once Count Dracula fled London Town—
Or else, like Ben Mears, Biden’s sure to be
Pounding a stake through Moscow’s macho clown.
Before that happens, though – let this be said!—
Joe’s brain must first be summoned from the dead.

–Tom Riley

Ant in a Grasshopper World

Ant in a Grasshopper World

Industriously, she saved
the dollars that would soon
be worth nothing.

–Tom Riley

Need to Vomit Yet?

Need to Vomit Yet?

Well, the press conference settled the question:
Joe’s dementia is no mere suggestion;
It is not a mere act.
It’s observable fact!
And it troubles the nation’s digestion.

–Tom Riley

Sacred Right

Sacred Right

The sacred right of child dismemberment
Is what Joe Biden’s eager to defend.
With Merrick Garland at his side, he’ll bend
Heaven and earth to battle our descent
Into respect for life. All discontent
With Roe v. Wade as truth revealed must end!
What part of “FUCK OFF” don’t you comprehend,
Misogynist pro-lifers? Now repent!
Such is the message sent by Catholic Joe—
And I for one could not be more delighted.
Biden’s a wimp as adversaries go.
Putin and Xi have never been affrighted
Less of a president. The end of Roe,
With Joe as advocate, is clearly sighted.

–Tom Riley