Archie Bunker’s Son-in-Law Explains It All to You
Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.
The self-deception here is, well, immense.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
Critiquing Joe makes very little sense—
According now to jerks who must be high.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.
–Tom Riley
Ain’t No Cure
For a headache like Biden, there ain’t
Medication. I make my complaint—
But there’s little to do
In response. I pursue
Stoic virtue. My hope, though, is faint.
–Tom Riley
Unity of Purpose
Leftists and neo-cons march arm-in-arm
Against what Mother Russia seeks to do.
Mark Levin yields to Biden’s goofy charm,
And Victor Davis Hanson giggles, too.
Volodymyr’s a hero: get a clue!
His tranny status only makes him cuter.
His distance makes our right-wing figures blue.
They wish he’d be a close, attentive suitor.
Instead, his intellect, like a computer,
Evaluates logistics with precision.
Toward glory he is racing on a scooter
Powered by courage, principle, and vision.
Neo-con hearts back here go pitter-patter.
Stand with Ukraine, you know. What else could matter?
–Tom Riley
The New Way
More advanced Catholics now know the way
To be pro-life in truth – for they say
The old way’s a distortion.
They are fighting abortion
By supporting it day after day!
–Tom Riley
On the Learned Assessment of Blame
Biden went in his pants. Was it pee?
Maybe so – but most noses agree
That the shit was far worse.
Dr. Jill belched a curse:
“This is all Putin’s fault, seems to me!”
–Tom Riley
NATO Intervention
If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!
Joe’s angry – and inclined toward fierce attack
If only NATO ceased to hold him back.
Heroic valor? That he doesn’t lack!
Just ask him and he’ll answer fiercely: “What?”
If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!
–Tom Riley
“I shall stand up to Putin – and Xi!”
Says Joe Biden – while taking a pee
Down his leg, long and hairy.
“Let those tyrants be wary!”
Both are laughing uproariously.
–Tom Riley
Signs of Weakness
“Why did Vlad the Invader not go
Forth invading when Trump – who we know
Was his puppet – was there
In the White House?” Don’t care—
Just as long as you’re not blaming Joe!
–Tom Riley
Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri
Putin has screwed the pooch, says Stephen King.
Jerk failed to realize that Hero Joe
Would make him pay the price for everything.
Hey, Stevie’s confident – and he should know.
Although this isn’t quite his horror show,
He understands the genre thoroughly:
He understands how things are bound to go
With incarnations of monstrosity.
Biden is sure to force Count Vlad to flee
As once Count Dracula fled London Town—
Or else, like Ben Mears, Biden’s sure to be
Pounding a stake through Moscow’s macho clown.
Before that happens, though – let this be said!—
Joe’s brain must first be summoned from the dead.
–Tom Riley
Ant in a Grasshopper World
Industriously, she saved
the dollars that would soon
be worth nothing.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 