You Say Suck Like It’s a Bad Thing

You Say Suck Like It’s a Bad Thing

“People think that I suck? I don’t care!”
So says Kamala, tossing her hair.
“As Old Willie can tell,
If I suck, I suck well.
I am used to what happens down there….”

–Tom Riley

Cheneygasmic!

Cheneygasmic!

Unlike Kamala, Liz sucks no cock.
Up her ass she feels no phallic shock.
Is there joy on her face?
She’s betraying the base!
This alone makes her shudder: “Let’s rock!”

–Tom Riley

Une Fellation Franҫaise

Une Fellation Franҫaise

Bitch’s French accent sucks. This we know.
She makes up for her clownishness, though.
She might do it for you.
Accent sucks. She does, too.
She gives marvelous French down below.

–Tom Riley

Other Attractions

Other Attractions

Well, she sucked Willie off: that’s the rumor.
Ah, dear sir, please don’t be an assumer!
Still, it’s fair to infer
He did not go for her
On account of her great sense of humor.

–Tom Riley

Vast Vacancy

The Vast Vacancy

 

That fat fraud Shea is at it once again.
What is he up to? Well, of course he’s lying.
He earns from sycophants a swift amen.
He finds the praise of morons gratifying.
Truly engage his brain? He isn’t trying.
It’s all progressive reflex, leftist twitch.
You might conclude that he were daily dying
To be, say, hag Pelosi’s strap-on bitch.
But you’d be wrong. When he adores that witch
Or sticks his busy tongue up Biden’s ass,
He isn’t scratching any inner itch.
Rather, it’s like his posturing at Mass.
He just thinks it’ll pay the bills to do it.
He’s vacuous inside – except for suet.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Pallida Mors

Pallida Mors

 

(in memoriam Rush Limbaugh)

 

Rush Limbaugh’s dead – and how they’re celebrating,
The pederasts and parasites online!
“Rest in piss” is the phrase that’s circulating.
Some halfwit with a tapeworm for a spine
Came up with that – and others found it fine.
The thought crimes Rush committed were that vicious.
He spoiled the Ministry of Truth’s design
By telling truths that stunned the meretricious.
News of his death to many is delicious.
They savor it like condom flavoring.
Their curses are absurdly superstitious—
But will not cease. O Death, where is thy sting?
Are leftist assholes partying? Why, yes—
But that, Rush, is the proof of your success.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Return to Normal

Return to Normal

 

Back to GOP standard, alas!
Officeholders pretend they’re high class,
Dignified through and through—
Although that’s hard to do
With a Democrat prick up your ass.

 

–Tom Riley

He Did Not Have Sex with That Woman, Ms. Fang!

He Did Not Have Sex with That Woman, Ms. Fang!

 

“I did not fuck that hot Chinese spy!”
Swalwell, Clintonesque, tells us. “No lie!
I played bent-over lad
To the strap-on she had.
Thus, the one who was entered was I.”

 

–Tom Riley

Real Republican Work

Real Republican Work

 

What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
Behind the bar, she used to suck and twerk—
That’s all. It is a truth that merits shouting.
What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
The rules of evidence she’s crudely flouting.
Tim Stoll defines the essence of real work!
What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
Behind the bar, she used to suck and twerk.

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Congresscunt AOC tries to steal #RealWork hashtag from Timothy Stoll.)

Draw the Line

Draw the Line

 

Who is queer for Obama? Colbert.
He would lovingly comb pubic hair
In Barack’s exposed crotch
While Michelle stooped to watch.
Hey, Barack: hope you don’t go quite there.

 

–Tom Riley