Bountiful Lard Mutters
Who’s backing Black Lives Matter? Mark P. Shea!
He’ll back them just as long as they’re in style.
You claim his motivations here are vile?
That’s something that you’re not allowed to say!
Shea is the foremost prophet of our day.
His insights are not subject to denial.
His holy channel rocks! Don’t touch that dial!
His virtue signals ain’t just vain display.
But back to Black Lives Matter. Hey, they’re cool—
And therefore for Mark Shea a perfect fit.
He judges you a damned and hopeless fool
If you do not agree, you skinny twit!
Black lives are due for Christianoid renewal.
They need a Fat White Savior – and he’s it.
When the planes struck, did Rent-a-Mob rush in
To save the lives that then faced sudden threat?
Did guys like Colin Kaepernick begin
A rescue operation? I forget.
Did folks in ruined buildings say, “Well met,”
To Bad Touch Biden as he risked his ass
To haul theirs out of danger? Wanna bet?
If you have any common sense, you’ll pass.
I am not sentimental here. Alas,
I’m well aware of mortal limitation!
An officer has settled ample mass
Upon my neck – though not for long duration.
Yet when disaster looms, who has the chops?
Not leftist activists. Instead, the cops.
The Continued Growth of George W. Bush
Oh, here he comes, the Chimpanzee-in-Chief!
He does so want the liars of the press
To love him! Comical is the relief
That he supplies – but deadly is the mess
That he will help to make. More crime, not less,
Is what he’ll body forth with pal Michelle
Obama as he says a breathless yes
To lies she and her catamite would tell
While following the playbook they knew well
Down through the years. Like Maverick McCain,
He’s sold his voters out. I know the smell.
I recognize the hey-me-too refrain.
He’ll demonize the cops with leftist zeal
If Mrs. O just lets him cop a feel.
The Shape of Justice
In Seattle’s autonomous zone
There are no cops. You’re quite on your own
If you’re mugged, robbed, or raped.
That’s how justice is shaped.
Black lives matter – and black lives alone.
There is little, it’s true, I won’t do
For a beauty who gives me the cue.
I fall right in that trap.
But I won’t be a sap
For a putative female like you.
Received your list of BLM requests,
Chanelle — and read it closely as I could.
I’m living in an upscale neighborhood.
Plus, I’m as white as, say, Cate Blanchett’s breasts.
When men insist, I fail submission tests.
I never can quite kowtow as I should.
My ears become like hard, unyielding wood.
The no I utter just once never rests.
Girls are another matter, I concede.
My urge to please the girls is hyperactive.
I can be made to follow where they lead.
I don’t reflect. At best, my mind’s refractive.
Oh, resubmit your bossy list, I plead,
From a black girl who’s actually attractive!
(BLM official Chanelle Helm publishes list of demands for white people.)