Out a Loser
I’m going out a loser. This I know.
The checkmate I envisioned didn’t work.
Yes, I was confident – a while ago.
I’m going out a loser: this I know.
The logic of the game is sure, though slow.
It doesn’t help if pieces go berserk.
I’m going out a loser. This I know.
The checkmate I envisioned didn’t work.
–Tom Riley
The NATO Gambit
Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.
Is there true safety on suburban lawns?
Washington moves its European pawns.
Zelensky frowns. Our class of pundits fawns.
To face reality we do not care.
Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.
–Tom Riley
Chess Is My Porn
In younger days, I did at times view porn.
It wasn’t as available back then.
Grown older, I regard my past with scorn,
Condemn my former self, and say amen.
Nowadays, though, I find myself again
Addicted to those 64 rich squares
On which a fixed variety of men
Clash cleverly for any brain that cares.
The beauty of the queen earns shameless stares.
She’s dominant, yet under my control.
Bishops and knights and rooks, in ordered pairs,
Will sacrifice themselves to reach the goal
Of checkmate, abstract glory in the nude,
Better than any ass that eyes have viewed.
–Tom Riley
Into Safety
I’ve castled into safety, as you see.
Is my position solid? Ha! You bet!
Opposing men: no point pursuing me.
To step aside these pawns will not agree.
It’s futile here to weave a mating net.
I’ve castled into safety – as you see
With your own eyes. Sublime security
Is now my clear and blessed state. Well met,
Opposing men! No point pursuing me!
The checkmate you envision cannot be.
With your strong queen I’ll have no tête-à-tête.
I’ve castled into safety. As you see,
I’m practically celestial royalty.
I’ve made the right investments, and I’m set,
Opposing men. No point pursuing me.
The board must now submit on bended knee.
Resistance is the pathway to regret.
I’ve castled into safety – as you see,
Opposing men. No point pursuing me!
–Tom Riley
Last-Minute Chessboard Swindle
Adversary played well – and the fight
Was a hard one. Defeat came in sight.
Yes: I had a lost game.
Resignation? For shame!
No: I swindled the guy. Grinning? Quite.
–Tom Riley
Wannabe
(for M.M.)
Chessmaster Anna Rudolf has a dream,
Maria. Yes, she longs to look like you,
Achieving beauty’s uttermost extreme
And making femininity anew.
To score this win, there’s nothing she won’t do.
A thousand times, she’d throw away her queen
As if she didn’t have a slender clue
Over the board when geniuses convene.
It’s not enough to be a chess machine.
She wants to join the costumed goddess crowd—
A crowd of one when you have made the scene.
She might as well be howling it aloud.
Will gods of good looks ever answer yes?
Not a chance – but she plays exquisite chess.
–Tom Riley
Adumbrations of Defeat
Knew he’d lose
When the pawn said: “Move
Me! Move me!”
–Tom Riley
Sissy Chess
At Sissy Chess, it’s clear now, you excel.
The move you’ve made is worthy of a cunt.
Though virile players may not like your smell,
At Sissy Chess (it’s clear now) you excel.
You spoil the game – and spoil it really well.
Your woke pawns dance obscenely to the front.
At Sissy Chess – it’s clear now – you excel.
The move you’ve made is worthy of a cunt.
–Tom Riley
Man versus Machine
As a lad, I could triumph at chess
Over any computer. The mess
Those things made of their game
Was a laughable shame.
Have things changed over time? Alas, yes.
—Tom Riley
Fiery Passage
(Alexander the Great, 356-323 B.C.)
How could they stop the son of Zeus Ammon?
A god can overcome all opposition
Except from other gods. Mere superstition?
No, lad: it is a verity long known
And proven in this instance. With a groan,
Mere mortal potentates beheld his mission
Fulfilled in fulmination, not attrition.
His fiery passage unmade realms of stone.
This was a king to capture every pawn
And lord it over every rook that fell
Athwart his path. But then, in Babylon,
On his way to enlighten and compel
The West, he reached some limit and was gone.
What god defeated him we cannot tell.
—Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 