Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

“I shall stand up to Putin – and Xi!”
Says Joe Biden – while taking a pee
Down his leg, long and hairy.
“Let those tyrants be wary!”
Both are laughing uproariously.

–Tom Riley

Signs of Weakness

Signs of Weakness

“Why did Vlad the Invader not go
Forth invading when Trump – who we know
Was his puppet – was there
In the White House?” Don’t care—
Just as long as you’re not blaming Joe!

–Tom Riley

Ukraine’s Lifeguard

Ukraine’s Lifeguard

Looks like Comrade
Kornpopov is harder to scare
than Corn Pop.

–Tom Riley

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Putin has screwed the pooch, says Stephen King.
Jerk failed to realize that Hero Joe
Would make him pay the price for everything.
Hey, Stevie’s confident – and he should know.
Although this isn’t quite his horror show,
He understands the genre thoroughly:
He understands how things are bound to go
With incarnations of monstrosity.
Biden is sure to force Count Vlad to flee
As once Count Dracula fled London Town—
Or else, like Ben Mears, Biden’s sure to be
Pounding a stake through Moscow’s macho clown.
Before that happens, though – let this be said!—
Joe’s brain must first be summoned from the dead.

–Tom Riley

Ant in a Grasshopper World

Ant in a Grasshopper World

Industriously, she saved
the dollars that would soon
be worth nothing.

–Tom Riley

Need to Vomit Yet?

Need to Vomit Yet?

Well, the press conference settled the question:
Joe’s dementia is no mere suggestion;
It is not a mere act.
It’s observable fact!
And it troubles the nation’s digestion.

–Tom Riley

Sacred Right

Sacred Right

The sacred right of child dismemberment
Is what Joe Biden’s eager to defend.
With Merrick Garland at his side, he’ll bend
Heaven and earth to battle our descent
Into respect for life. All discontent
With Roe v. Wade as truth revealed must end!
What part of “FUCK OFF” don’t you comprehend,
Misogynist pro-lifers? Now repent!
Such is the message sent by Catholic Joe—
And I for one could not be more delighted.
Biden’s a wimp as adversaries go.
Putin and Xi have never been affrighted
Less of a president. The end of Roe,
With Joe as advocate, is clearly sighted.

–Tom Riley

Spin

Spin

Ask the pundits! Hey: they never lie!
Biden’s really one hell of a guy:
Competent – and admired.
He’s done all that’s required.
His low numbers are actually high.

–Tom Riley

Savior of Democracy

Savior of Democracy

Our democracy threatened? Oh, no!
Who can save us from such a sad show?
Is there hope to discern?
In our peril, we turn
To the idiot dictator Joe!

–Tom Riley

BBB

BBB

“Build Back Better” fell flat on its face.
Is it sadness I feel? Not a trace!
Mr. Manchin did well.
Biden: you go to Hell!
I am sure they’re reserving a place.

–Tom Riley