Four Views of the Battle of Bakhmut

Four Views of the Battle of Bakhmut

The Hohols need to rescue Bakhmut soon–
or maybe actually it doesn’t matter.
The headlines can’t determine which cartoon
to propagate today. What’s even sadder:
some outlets choose to publish both at once,
untroubled by the glaring contradiction.
The CIA, of course, directs these cunts.
You’d think they’d settle on a single fiction.
I myself, I admit, cannot decide
which of two quite unpalatable courses
Ukraine should choose. If Wagner is defied,
it’ll annihilate defending forces–
whereas, if the Ukrainians retreat,
then on the Russians speed. Won’t that be sweet?

–Tom Riley

Bunch of Regular Guys

A Bunch of Regular Guys

But Wagner didn’t do it all alone.
Regulars of the Russian Federation
Were heroes, too – and, in the danger zone
Triumphant, wreaking utter devastation
Upon the Ukronazis whom that pest
Zelensky played like pawns. His NATO bosses
Thought that his idiotic plan was best—
And so the Ukies took tremendous losses.
In spite of all the smoke that CIA
Imbeciles blow, the Russian cause advances—
While leaders of the West, far, far away,
Continue to adopt unyielding stances.
If Putin could take D.C., district squalid,
I think he would be doing us a solid.

–Tom Riley

Must Be True

Must Be True

We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true.
The CIA is feeding us our lines!
Who at this time must cease to question? You!
We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true.
The shit we’ve been assigned we spew on cue.
We just ignore all countervailing signs.
We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true:
The CIA is feeding us our lines!

–Tom Riley

Killer Kumbaya

Killer Kumbaya

The neo-cons and liberals link arms
And sing that Darya’s murder was okay,
Whatever may have been her girlish charms.
Its wrath the Western order must display
In just this fashion. Brutal tricks we play
Here in the West, and brutal bombings too,
Authorized by the noble CIA,
Are, world not of our making, good for you!
They’re what enlightened pansies always do
When there’s a limit madmen can transgress.
So-called morality objects anew,
Withholding license. We go nonetheless
Confidently and righteously ahead.
Who cares if Russian females end up dead?

–Tom Riley

Word to the Wise

Word to the Wise

Remember: when Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.
He will not be their first assassinated,
Remember? When Zelensky’s terminated,
Ignore the talking points that will be stated
Unceasingly. Such noise grows wearisome!
Remember! When Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.

–Tom Riley

Body by A.K.

Body by A.K.

“They said that I was dying – and they sneered.
Then Andrew Kersting gave me workout tips.
Now, once again, I’m someone to be feared:
You see it in their eyes and trembling lips.
They brag that they’ve been sinking Russian ships—
But, when the shirt comes off, they shrink away.
To calm their nerves, they may take little sips
Of liquor. Their belligerence is gay.
Banderites we defeat day after day.
With my own hand, I’ve judo-chopped a lot.
Where is the champion of the CIA?
He’ll soon be showing up to face me – not!
Da! I shall silence all their lies and jokes—
Thanks to the Andrew Kersting Method, folks!”

–Tom Riley

(CIA director says Putin is, if anything, too healthy.)

Intelligence Test

Intelligence Test

“We can trust the intelligence crowd!”
Say the neo-con toadies. “We’re proud
Of their efforts. They rock!”
It may come as a shock
That their distrust was once just as loud.

–Tom Riley

Another Bush War

Another Bush War

Why today are Ukrainians dying
While our CIA heroes keep lying
And our real prospects sink?
George Bush thought he could think—
A belief that was quite satisfying.

–Tom Riley

Stultus et Idiota

Stultus et Idiota

“Trump’s a fool! He’s an idiot, too!”
So intelligence guys say on cue.
Hey, they are in the know!
Why, wise sirs, is this so?
“He won’t do what we tell him to do!”

–Tom Riley

Comrade Brennan

Comrade Brennan

Why in the world is Comrade Brennan pissed?
Has Putin’s stare betrayed the Revolution?
What is there for a Commie to resist?
Why in the world is Comrade Brennan pissed?
Why does he shake a red and empty fist?
How has his vast scheme suffered diminution?
Why in the world is Comrade Brennan pissed?
Has Putin’s stare betrayed the Revolution?

–Tom Riley