Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Communist China

True Trickle Down

True Trickle Down

Trickle down never helped the working man,”
Says Joe. “What really helped was Hunter bucks!
As soon as Hunter’s sinecures began,
As soon as Chicoms sold him teenaged fucks,
The long-term benefit was all your luck’s.
You little punks, who never got such deals,
Grew rich. Resentment, in this instance, sucks.
Biden graft, you should keep in mind here, heals!
You should be glad that Hunter’s copping feels
Off little foreign girls. The blowjobs, too,
Help you earn higher pay and richer meals.
When Hunter snorts cocaine, he’s aiding you!
He shares perverse proclivities with me.
Together, we will bring prosperity!”

–Tom Riley

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Right on Schedule

Right on Schedule

Scheduled State of the Union? Joe missed it.
That senescence: it’s hard to resist it!
But had this come to pass—
A display of Xi’s ass—
Right on schedule would Slow Joe have kissed it.

–Tom Riley

Image result for xi from back

Mei Guo Safety Is Priority Number One!

Mei Guo Safety Is Priority Number One!

 

Yes, Dr. Joseph Biden means to take
Your guns. Please don’t express the least surprise
If you have been at any time awake.
Yes: Dr. Joseph Biden means to take
The Bill of Rights away – for safety’s sake.
Remember: Chairman Xi is shrewd and wise.
Yes? Dr. Joseph Biden means to take
Your guns. Please don’t express the least surprise.

 

–Tom Riley

 

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Joe the Sinologist

Joe the Sinologist

 

Uyghurs? Genocide? Not even warm,
Biden critics – and very bad form
To harass China Joe
With your inquiries so.
This is simply a cultural norm.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Joe Biden official portrait 2013 cropped.jpg

 

(China Joe dismisses genocide of the Uyghurs as a differing cultural norm.)

Divided

Divided

 

The nation is divided, as you say.
Let all unite in serving Chairman Xi
And we’ll transcend the challenge of the day!
The nation is divided – as you say.
Let Dr. Joseph Biden lead the way!
On his example let us all agree!
The nation is divided, as you say.
Let all unite in serving Chairman Xi!

 

–Tom Riley

 

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Write to the Top

Write to the Top

 

Why trouble our provincial leader, Joe,
When Chairman Xi’s the one who runs the show?

 

–Tom Riley

Virus of a President

A Virus of a President

 

China virus? Is that a thing? No!
You may never express yourself so!
Let your vile view be hidden!
Such a phrase is forbidden!
Who forbids it? Of course! China Joe!

 

–Tom Riley

 

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Look on the Bright Side

Look on the Bright Side

 

The puppet president of Chairman Xi
Is now in place, so history advances.
Of course, America must take its chances.
This age-encumbered mediocrity
Who wets his nether garments frequently
Has long adopted idiotic stances.
Incapable of clever verbal dances,
He stumbles, stalls, and babbles ceaselessly.
Don’t worry, though – for Chairman Xi is boss.
Derelict Joe just carries out his orders.
Though Joe’s ascendancy is clearly loss,
A deep abasement of his current quarters,
Xi’s wisdom offers noodles, rice, and sauce
From far beyond our now-dissolving borders.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Power behind the Throne

Power behind the Throne

 

Biden backers put on quite a show.
Is such fluff a necessity, though?
Lady Gaga? Tom Hanks?
Biden owes them no thanks.
It is Xi who legitimates Joe!

 

–Tom Riley

 

Tom Hanks hosted the Celebrating America event. Photo: AP

Respectful

Can we all agree to respect our official incoming regional leader? I intend to refer to him as Dr. Joseph Biden, Designated Governor, Mei Guo Province, Greater Chinese-Pacific Co-Prosperity Sphere. Doesn’t that sound respectful?

 

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