Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: #CreepyJoe

Joe Did What?

Joe Did What?

I say that Joe did this and Joe did that,
But Joe, of course, is not the one who acted:
He’s too much the demented Democrat,
I say. That Joe did this, and Joe did that,
Is shorthand. A whole group of leftists sat
In council, though the details are redacted.
I say that Joe did this, and Joe did that—
But Joe, of course, is not the one who acted.

–Tom Riley

Payment Forever Due

Payment Forever Due

Joe sanctioned Russia, folks – but you’re the ones
Who’ve paid, are paying, and will always pay.
Don’t worry, though. At least he’s seizing guns!
Joe sanctioned Russia, folks. But you’re the ones
He really means to punish. May your sons
Be trannies soon! It’s all in Biden’s day.
Joe sanctioned Russia, folks, but you’re the ones
Who’ve paid, are paying, and will always pay.

–Tom Riley

On the Most Current Current Thing We Can Currently Conceive

On the Most Current Current Thing We Can Currently Conceive

Is monkeypox now on the scene?
Let’s blame those sly Chinese!
Our Pharma-Lords will now convene
To drive us to our knees
With lockdowns, masks, a new vaccine.
Most every cunt agrees
That we must serve the firm machine
In such emergencies.

When pricks like Biden tell us straight
In sentences profound
That further slavery is our fate,
Let gratitude abound!
Don’t let suspicion, doubt or hate
In any heart be found.
Our leaders aren’t just wise: they’re great!
Stop monkeying around!

–Tom Riley

Unity of Purpose

Unity of Purpose

Leftists and neo-cons march arm-in-arm
Against what Mother Russia seeks to do.
Mark Levin yields to Biden’s goofy charm,
And Victor Davis Hanson giggles, too.
Volodymyr’s a hero: get a clue!
His tranny status only makes him cuter.
His distance makes our right-wing figures blue.
They wish he’d be a close, attentive suitor.
Instead, his intellect, like a computer,
Evaluates logistics with precision.
Toward glory he is racing on a scooter
Powered by courage, principle, and vision.
Neo-con hearts back here go pitter-patter.
Stand with Ukraine, you know. What else could matter?

–Tom Riley

Why Wait for Late Night?

Why Wait for Late Night?

Who says Putin must go? Now it’s Joe.
With such zingers he often lets go.
Critics may call them gaffes—
But Joe plays them for laughs.
It’s top-rated, his comedy show.

–Tom Riley

Elimination Compensation

Elimination Compensation

If only Vlad could be eliminated,
Why, Russians could be just like Lindsey Graham
And Bonehead Joe! Our values must be stated:
If only Vlad could be eliminated—
By which we mean, of course, assassinated—
McDonald’s could return to them. Hot damn!
If only Vlad could be eliminated,
Why, Russians could be just like Lindsey Graham!

–Tom Riley

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Whom shall I sanction (Biden asks) today?
I’ll sanction every state that disagrees.
I’ll sanction every guy that isn’t gay.
I’ll sanction every punk not on his knees
To me and all my buddies. Hard to please,
I’ll sanction those who dare stay uncommitted
To all the lies I pitch as verities.
I’ll sanction those who say they won’t be shitted.
I’m tough as hell, though maybe insect-witted.
I’ll sanction India and China too.
Is it against the facts that I am pitted?
I’ll sanction you and you and you and you!
I’ve soiled my underpants, so why be nice?
America, not I, will pay the price.

–Tom Riley

(Note on the text: Sniffer Joe has of course never been literate enough to use the accusative pronoun “whom” correctly, nor to distinguish between nominative and accusative in such phrases as “America, not I.” And now he’s deep in dementia. He can’t distinguish his fundament from an aperture in the earth. But there’s no percentage in representing Joe’s drooling voice too accurately. T.R.)

New Way

The New Way

More advanced Catholics now know the way
To be pro-life in truth – for they say
The old way’s a distortion.
They are fighting abortion
By supporting it day after day!

–Tom Riley

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

Biden went in his pants. Was it pee?
Maybe so – but most noses agree
That the shit was far worse.
Dr. Jill belched a curse:
“This is all Putin’s fault, seems to me!”

–Tom Riley

NATO Intervention

NATO Intervention

If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!
Joe’s angry – and inclined toward fierce attack
If only NATO ceased to hold him back.
Heroic valor? That he doesn’t lack!
Just ask him and he’ll answer fiercely: “What?”
If only NATO ceased to hold him back
Joe would go now to whip some Putin butt!

–Tom Riley