Devil Dog
He said it was a nice dog in July—
But now it has three heads, comes straight from Hell,
And soon will sprout vast wings with which to fly.
He said it was a nice dog in July—
A comment he is likely to deny
Because his brain does not remember well.
He said it was a nice dog in July–
But now? It has three heads, comes straight from Hell!
–Tom Riley
Shea and Company
Mark Shea is going to crush me – with his pals.
They’re going to gas me in the human pound.
He and a bunch of geeks who dress like gals
Are making one united warlike sound.
With victory their efforts will be crowned.
Afterwards, they’ll pair off and sixty-nine
To celebrate. I cannot say I’ve found
A way to nullify their fierce design.
Oh, what a load of hopelessness is mine!
Shea and his LGBTQ elite
Will scratch out both my eyes and break my spine.
Their righteous leftist fury can’t be beat.
Not one of my persuasion will be spared.
Shea’s made a solemn vow. I’m really scared.
–Tom Riley
(Planned Parenthood ally and dog hater Mark Shea will crush us.)
Payback Is a Fat Bitch
Fat-assed gamma boy strolls past to sneer
At the dogs he pretends not to fear
And intends to have gassed.
Judgment also strolls past.
He’ll be long gassed in punishment’s sphere.
–Tom Riley
(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea takes another brave walk.)
Button Up
What a creep like you does in the dark
I attend to but little. But hark!
Though this may not sound nice,
It is friendly advice:
Keep your hands off your Man Buttons, Mark.
–Tom Riley
(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea celebrates his “Man Buttons.”)
The Warrior Shea
In victories he was swimmin’.
He killed children, dogs, and women.
–Johnny Cash
Feckless Shea needs
the state even to slaughter
a couple puppies.
–Tom Riley
(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea wants dogs destroyed.)
Canicide
Shea’s a hero? That claim I deny.
So he says – but his tale is a lie.
Punk has lied from his youth.
Here instead is the truth:
Shea fears dogs, so he wants them to die.
–Tom Riley
(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea wants dogs destroyed.)
Judgmental
Who wants to kill some dogs? The Mighty Shea!
They made him shit his pants, and now he’s pissed.
It’s true: he raised a weapon in his fist
And shaped from his vast bulk a grand display.
Eventually, unharmed, he got away—
Because he had the courage to resist.
Nonetheless, dogs are added to the list
Of things that frighten him and have to pay.
Don’t plead for mercy, crazy PETA punks!
He still remembers how he dropped his fudge.
From his distaste for puppies, cats, and skunks,
For snakes and spiders too, he will not budge.
Practical kindness tests he always flunks.
Of how he stank that day, he’ll be the judge.
–Tom Riley
(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea wants dogs destroyed.)
Sloppy Eater
Puppies barked at Mark Shea. Oh, how rude!
They must now die: that’s Shea’s attitude.
From his stance he ain’t swaying.
But here’s what he’s not saying:
Just beforehand, he slurped up their food.
–Tom Riley
(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea wants dogs destroyed.)
Hitler’s Shock Troops
German shepherds attacked Shea that day—
Not, as some claim, a Bichon Frisé
And a Mexican hairless.
With your claims don’t be careless!
They were both Nazi dogs, anyway.
–Tom Riley
(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea declares himself hero.)
Heroica
Shea declared himself hero this day.
Took on pups with his wife. Shout hurray!
Swung a glorious stick.
What a pitiful prick!
He loves foes his mere buttocks outweigh.
–Tom Riley
(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea declares himself hero.)
Flammeus Gladius 