You Say Suck Like It’s a Bad Thing

You Say Suck Like It’s a Bad Thing

“People think that I suck? I don’t care!”
So says Kamala, tossing her hair.
“As Old Willie can tell,
If I suck, I suck well.
I am used to what happens down there….”

–Tom Riley

Back on Course

Back on Course

 

“Once we get rid of Trump, we proceed
In the old way – but at greater speed.
All dissent body-slammed,
Constitution be damned!”
Said the RINO contingent: “Agreed!”

 

–Tom Riley

Same Old Same Old

Same Old Same Old

 

After fraud that we know by the smell,
We seem headed for Democrat hell.
Taxes spent to no end.
No more words that offend.
Endless wars are returning as well.

 

–Tom Riley

Fox Convergence Complete

Fox Convergence Complete

 

Buddy, don’t put your faith in Fox News.
They’re the creeps you have cause to accuse.
Arizona they called
When the planned outcome stalled.
Otherwise, Joe was fated to lose.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Are We at Flammeus Gladius Going NUTS?

Are We at Flammeus Gladius Going NUTS?

 
Demented Joe recently assured America that he was “not going nuts.”

Methinks the candidate doth protest too much.

On the other hand, we at Flammeus Gladius must be going NUTS!

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We must be going NUTS!

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Fundamental Change

Fundamental Change

Buttigieg has a future, you know,
If he just doesn’t screw up the show.
He’s a friendly gay guy—
And that, people, is why
He is now a butt buddy to Joe.

–Tom Riley

 

(Buttigieg endorses Creepy Joe.)

Staying Out of It

Staying Out of It

 

Barack is not endorsing Joe–
and winning thus some new respect.
Joe’s gaffes and our misgivings grow.
Barack is not endorsing Joe.
That’s how these left-wing friendships go.
Barack: your judgment is correct!
Barack is not endorsing Joe–
and winning thus some new respect.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Shithole

Shithole

San Francisco streets fill up with shit.
Don’t recoil, tourist. Don’t throw a fit.
Dumps are never defeats.
These are still lovely streets.
With the ruling class, shit is a hit.

–Tom Riley

New Face of the Democrat Party

The New Face of the Democrat Party

The old Democrat face looked like crap—
But for good looks I’ve long been a sap.
This new leftist’s patoot
Is incredibly cute.
Señorita, come sit on my lap!

–Tom Riley

(Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defeats Joe Crowley.)

Why Hillary Lost?

Why Hillary Lost?

 

(The following appeared in Silver’s Dollar, Matt Silver’s limited-circulation snail-mail newsletter. I can’t vouch for the allegations made in the piece, but they do excite interest. There was no byline, which may mean that Silver himself was the author. A notice appeared after the print version: “Permission is hereby granted to reprint without attribution.” For the sake of clarity, I am attributing insofar as I can. But I claim no rights over this text. Copy and paste to your heart’s satisfaction. TR.)

 

Prominent Democrats Blame Bernie

 

On condition of anonymity, highly-placed officials in the Democratic Party are now telling select reporters that Bernie Sanders was a paid agent of Donald Trump’s presidential effort and was “even more responsible than the Russians” for Hillary Clinton’s unexpected defeat.

“We have hard evidence,” said one source, “that Trump was planning his presidential bid as long ago as January of 2013. Through intermediaries, he contacted Bernie Sanders, who after all was not a member of the Democratic Party, and promised him substantial, untraceable remuneration for entering the race against Hillary. The Sanders campaign was never intended to win, only to spoil party unity and weaken Hillary’s chances.”

Said another source: “We believe that Trump and the Russians were working in coordination with Sanders from the very beginning. They even anticipated the possibility of using the meme that Hillary and the party cheated poor Bernie. What Bernie’s supporters never knew is that they were working for Trump and the Russians the whole time.”

A third Democratic official added: “The Bernie Sanders campaign was the biggest fake news story of the election cycle, and the one that hurt Hillary the most.”

Sources said they were aware of how bad it sounded for Hillary to blame Sanders after a dozen other explanations had been given for her loss. “But facts are facts,” said one, “and the damage done by Bernie was evident for everyone to see.”

All sources insisted on anonymity, saying they feared a backlash from Sanders supporters who were “psychologically incapable of accepting the truth.”

The Trump transition team and GOP officials declined comment on the allegations.

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