Judgment Juice

Judgment Juice

 

 

(for Téa Marie Erickson)

 

 

The lousy movie that you plan to view

Is way too bad to yield to simple wine.

You need far stronger stuff to render you

Immune to crap and bitch-slap into line

Your judgment – so you babble, “Hey, it’sh fine,”

When sober viewers rally and object.

Vodka, perhaps, might manage that design—

But I, my dear, am of the whiskey sect.

Jameson is sufficient to correct

All of the sense that you can bring to bear

Against The Hobbit’s defects.  You’ll defect

From rationality and cease to care

About the idiocy in that flick.

Drink fiercely and the film won’t make you sick.

 

 

 

–Tom Riley