Signs of Weakness

Signs of Weakness

“Why did Vlad the Invader not go
Forth invading when Trump – who we know
Was his puppet – was there
In the White House?” Don’t care—
Just as long as you’re not blaming Joe!

–Tom Riley

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Stevie King Ukrainian Potpourri

Putin has screwed the pooch, says Stephen King.
Jerk failed to realize that Hero Joe
Would make him pay the price for everything.
Hey, Stevie’s confident – and he should know.
Although this isn’t quite his horror show,
He understands the genre thoroughly:
He understands how things are bound to go
With incarnations of monstrosity.
Biden is sure to force Count Vlad to flee
As once Count Dracula fled London Town—
Or else, like Ben Mears, Biden’s sure to be
Pounding a stake through Moscow’s macho clown.
Before that happens, though – let this be said!—
Joe’s brain must first be summoned from the dead.

–Tom Riley

He Lives!

He Lives!

Dennis O’Brien lives – and we rejoice!
The blogosphere has suffered since July.
We had to do without his righteous voice,
Without his deep, ferocious battle cry.
Did anyone take up the slack? We’d try,
We rhymesters of the other continents—
But who could strike as hard or reach as high?
For Trump, what fool would substitute Mike Pence?
Well, now O’Brien’s back – and it’s immense,
Our sense that this year’s void is at last is filled.
The focus of his verse will be intense.
His stuff is both original and skilled.
On substitutes we need not be reliant.
Stand bold athwart the age, you Ozzie giant!

–Tom Riley

Progressive Zeal

Progressive Zeal

“We are sneering at Trump’s fake vaccine!”
So they said last October. “We mean
To refuse and defy!”
Now they all loudly cry:
“If you don’t get the jab, you’re obscene!”

–Tom Riley

Back on Course

Back on Course

 

“Once we get rid of Trump, we proceed
In the old way – but at greater speed.
All dissent body-slammed,
Constitution be damned!”
Said the RINO contingent: “Agreed!”

 

–Tom Riley

Georgia Turns Blue

Georgia Turns Blue

 

RINOs backed China Joe and his whore
After Trump seemed to say: This is war!
Chumps would not get excited—
And the Left was delighted.
They got right to work stealing some more.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Speaking Moistly

Speaking Moistly

 

Jimmy Mattis and other such queers—
Some who haven’t been heard from for years—
Now derive an erection
From the stolen election
As they moistly speak forth deep state fears.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Tiresome 21

The Tiresome 21

 

Do 21 Republicans hate Trump?
Carl Bernstein seems to think that I should care.
For others’ view I ain’t that kind of chump.
Do 21 Republicans hate Trump
Because he won’t French-kiss progressive rump
The way they do? A trivial affair!
Do 21 Republicans hate Trump?
Carl Bernstein seems to think that I should care.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Way They Were

The Way They Were

 

Can you return things to the way they were?
I’m guessing not – but cunts: you keep on trying!
Perhaps free hearts will cease, right now, to stir.
Can you return things to the way they were
Before the Trumpster, Heaven’s minister,
Confounded you? Your urge there’s no denying.
Can you return things to the way they were?
I’m guessing not. But, cunts, you keep on trying!

 

–Tom Riley

 

Variety of Responses

A Variety of Responses

 

Some pissant at the National Review
Offers at last his lofty explanation
Of Donald Trump to those of humbler station.
Yes: that means me – and also, maybe, you.
What on earth can a MAGA moron do
But nod his head when such a dissertation
Is bodied forth in such a publication?
The options, we have long been told, are few.
Still, I can think of some. This whiskered bitch
Who lies prone to accept the fecal load
Of Democrats, whose lies obscenely itch
To suck till they expand and then explode,
Could be kicked till his slack limbs ceased to twitch
Or, both arms broken, drowned in a commode.

 

–Tom Riley