Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: effeminacy

Trans-Obama-ism

Trans-Obama-ism

Some suspect that Michelle is a guy.
May be true, or it may be a lie.
Neither outcome would shock.
In the case of Barack,
It’s an easier charge to deny.

–Tom Riley

Increased Demand

Increased Demand

“Why just shave your face? Branch out, my pet!
Shave your body! Feel feminine yet!
You’ll adjust. Yes, you will!
You will find it a thrill!”
That’s the angle now played by Gillette.

–Tom Riley

Latest Allegation

The Latest Allegation

The latest allegation comes from Shea:
“Don’t you dare leave me out! Brett Kavanaugh
Molested me as well! That fateful day—
Or night, I can’t be sure – the bastard saw
My giant ass. His lust rose up as raw
As sushi, and he pushed me to a bed
That somehow was on hand. I felt his paw
Upon my flesh. Mark Judge belched: Go ahead!
I rolled away and speedily I fled—
As Daphne fled Apollo. When and where
This happened, I can’t say. Believe instead
Because I’m soft and womanish! I care—
And that is why at last I’m speaking out.
My courage no mere man should ever doubt.”

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea calls Kavanaugh “a lying, petulant, aggressive, angry bully.”)

Porky Pride

Porky Pride

A Viking beard displayed with porky pride:
Such is Shea’s only way to be a man.
Hiding his jowls, he’s quite self-satisfied.
A Viking beard displayed with porky pride
Makes fellow sissies breathily confide
That he’s admired by fan on squirming fan.
A Viking beard displayed with porky pride:
Such is Shea’s only way to be a man.

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea plugs beard balm.)

From Behind Her Skirts

From Behind Her Skirts

 

“Trump is Hitler without the mustache—
And his family I zealously bash!”
Crows the butterball Shea.
“But, if slights come my way,
My Pezzulo will give you the lash!”

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea whines about libel.)

Got the Memo

Got the Memo

 

“If you publish the memo, we’ll squeal—
And the wounds of the nation won’t heal!”
Said the Democrat crowd.
Their foreboding was loud.
Now it’s published. They say: “No big deal.”

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Gigantic pansy James Comey tweets in response to memo’s release.)

Freak Show

Freak Show

 

“Alt Right Freak Show!” cries Shea. Is he not
Sly and clever? I almost forgot
What a wit he can be!
“Alt Right Freak Show!” Dear me!
From a fat lady, that hurts a lot.

 

—Tom Riley

 

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea decries the “Alt Right Freak Show.”)

Like Chanticleer

Like Chanticleer

 

I crowed like Chanticleer: “Your bitch got beat!”
That was the night Trump kicked Frau Klinton’s ass.
Isn’t that why we find these moments sweet?
The foes that we have hungered to harass
Face clear humiliation. It’s first class,
The thrill that their discomfiture supplies.
It isn’t just a glory: it’s a gas!
You could have seen it, that night, in my eyes.
Now Ossoff, with a neck one-half the size
Of Justin Bieber’s wrist, awash in money
From Hollywood, slinks off and duly cries
His feeble cries. You must admit it’s funny.
To Democrats, entitled and effete,
I crow like Chanticleer: your bitch got beat!

 

—Tom Riley

 

 

(Media darling Jon Ossoff goes down in defeat.)

What Really Counts

What Really Counts

 

Comey leaked — but so what? No big deal.
That leak’s something he need not conceal.
He need not care an ounce
because something else counts:
It’s the nasty way Trump made him feel!

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Comey admits he was a leaker.)

Testimony of the Week

Testimony of the Week

 

On “Comey’s Testimony of the Week,”
We heard again about how Comey felt.
The things he said could not be called unique
In this respect — but, oh, they made hearts melt!
He taught us all how “inner angst” is spelt.
He taught us all about his noble states
Of mind. He didn’t like the way Trump smelt.
He doesn’t like the way Trump’s manner grates.
A gabby lawman who pontificates
Is now the Democrats’ exalted hero.
They all admire his many emo traits.
But what’s the payoff, all you viewers? Zero.
Comey lets nothing but his feelings flow.
I’m growing weary of this donkey show.

 

–Tom Riley