Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: envy

Jealous as a Bastard

Jealous as a Bastard

 

(for Stollers)

 

Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.
Like all the rest of us, you must admit
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.

You can’t resist this forceful mandate when
Your fate is in his fortune duly writ:
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.

Through Shaolin meditation (much like Zen),
He draws great stuff to where he deigns to sit.
You’re jealous as a bastard once again,

Aren’t you? Sure: breathing deeply, count to ten:
You’ll still be netted in a jealous fit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff! Citizen:

Lower than Stoll is where you’ve always been
Upon the totem pole. And now, you twit,
You’re jealous as a bastard once again!

Grinning with pride, he makes you shout amen
To his whole list of first-rate, bad-ass shit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen!
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Christmas and Easter Totem Poles by David K. Fison | The Jesus Question

Philosophy of Decomposition

The Philosophy of Decomposition

 

Yes, Poe died – and decayed. It is wise
To recall that most everyone dies
And decays, nose to toes.
But Poe’s critical foes?
They were rotting while still writing lies.

 

–Tom Riley

 

1855 engraving by Miner Kilbourne Kellogg

(Rufus Griswold)

Latest Allegation

The Latest Allegation

The latest allegation comes from Shea:
“Don’t you dare leave me out! Brett Kavanaugh
Molested me as well! That fateful day—
Or night, I can’t be sure – the bastard saw
My giant ass. His lust rose up as raw
As sushi, and he pushed me to a bed
That somehow was on hand. I felt his paw
Upon my flesh. Mark Judge belched: Go ahead!
I rolled away and speedily I fled—
As Daphne fled Apollo. When and where
This happened, I can’t say. Believe instead
Because I’m soft and womanish! I care—
And that is why at last I’m speaking out.
My courage no mere man should ever doubt.”

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea calls Kavanaugh “a lying, petulant, aggressive, angry bully.”)

If I Were a Rich Man

If I Were a Rich Man

 

 
“Trump is Hitler without the mustache!
Trump will make of our world dust and ash!
Trump is sexist and mean—
And his small hands obscene!”
They say this because Trump has, well, cash.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Transcendence

Transcendence

 

 

(for Tom Riley*)

 

 

Tom Riley has a twice-transcendent name—

For Tom transcends, and Riley does as well.

What grander syllables can tongue proclaim?

What higher notes can in a trumpet swell?

When lesser names are lost in hopeless hell,

The name “Tom Riley” leads souls to the light:

It casts a heartening and happy spell

Upon a world whose past has been all blight.

To some, no doubt, these praises seem the height

Of arrogance, and ripe for punishment.

Do harpies gather in the heavy night,

Nursing against me horrible intent?

Do you too, reader, argue and deny?

Tom Riley pities you – and so do I.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

*Tom Riley, a grant writer living in Crystal Lake, Illinois, friended me on Facebook, having noted the identity of our glorious names.

Little Leader

Little Leader

 

The little leader’s sorry for your sins.

He has been authorized to list them all.

When he screwed up, you offered hurtful grins.

When he fell short, you seemed, well, almost tall.

When he was mumbling in the men’s room stall,

You took notes – or he tells himself you did.

It does no good to say you don’t recall.

In the end, he’ll expose the guilt you hid.

The tough position he inherited

Is getting tougher, as you know, each day.

Of its demands he’s longing to be rid—

But only if its perks are here to stay.

What in the nasty world?  Are you still here?

He’s sorry – and his sorrow is sincere.

 

 

–Tom Riley