Philippians 2: 5-11
That hymn to Jesus set the world on fire–
but nowadays it only keeps us warm.
As clear as any convert could require,
that hymn to Jesus set the world on fire
through startled Paul, who’d altered half his ire.
We’ve lost the substance, but we’ve kept the form.
that hymn to Jesus? Set the world on fire!
But nowadays it only keeps us warm.
–Tom Riley
A Toad from the Ruins
What? Is that toad Chris Christie still around?
I thought that COVID targeted the fat.
I just glanced at the headlines — and I found.
What? Is that toad Chris Christie still around?
With foolishness and deep dishonor crowned,
he should be gone with 2020’s scat.
What? Is that toad Chris Christie still around?
I thought that COVID targeted the fat.
–Tom Riley
Impending Obama Inc. Announcement
When will Obama Inc. admit at last
that beauteous Michelle still has a dick?
Barack and company: forget the past!
When will Obama Inc. admit at last
that even Reggie Love is way outclassed
in phallic terms by our first former chick?
When will Obama Inc. admit at last
that beauteous Michelle still has a dick?
–Tom Riley
Give Me That Old Time Religion
Is old religion good religion? Sure.
But there are older cults, dear sir, than yours.
Is any fixed faith actually secure?
Is old religion good religion? Sure,
it is. At least its practices endure.
But does it know the lightning that restores?
Is old religion good religion? Sure–
but there are older cults, dear sir, than yours.
–Tom Riley
Iron Fist
Zelensky says he’ll strike with Iron Fist!
From Marvel Comics now he steals his stuff.
As Churchill clone and master strategist,
Zelensky says he’ll strike with Iron Fist.
Limper, though, than a dead fish is his wrist.
Is he in truth, O Hohols, man enough?
Zelensky says he’ll strike with Iron Fist!
From Marvel Comics now he steals his stuff.
–Tom Riley
Treatable Condition
The angst I’m treating now with alcohol
will pass when I am sober in the grave:
I won’t be feeling anything at all.
The angst I’m treating now with alcohol
will cease to irritate me and appall.
My mortal nature will have made the save.
The angst I’m treating now with alcohol
will pass — when I am sober in the grave.
–Tom Riley
The Lovestruck Coder’s Triolet
If both of us were apps on some device,
I hope I’d be compatible with you!
I hope that nerds would nod and utter: “Nice!”
If both of us were apps on some device,
I hope that we’d be working in a thrice
productively — and elegantly, too.
If both of us were apps on some device,
I hope I’d be compatible with you.
–Tom Riley
Dutiful Dreamer
Did I intend to dream of you last night?
I never court my nightmares. They just come.
Was I resolved when I turned off the light?
Did I intend to dream of you last night?
When my eyes closed, did I keep you in sight?
Please be assured: I wasn’t quite that dumb.
Did I intend to dream of you last night?
I never court my nightmares. They just come.
–Tom Riley
Plenty of Proxies
We’ll soon replace the Hohols with the Finns.
Our war on Mother Russia must not end!
One chapter closes, so the next begins:
we’ll soon replace the Hohols with the Finns.
We’ll make those Russkies suffer for our sins!
Our right to threaten them we will defend!
We’ll soon replace the Hohols with the Finns:
our war on Mother Russia must not end.
–Tom Riley
Why We Are Morally Superior to Russia
Boys have their dicks cut off, and girls their tits.
Civilization reaches brand new highs.
Hey, bigots: why not exercise your wits?
Boys have their dicks cut off, and girls their tits,
for noble reasons. Only right-wing shits
object to guys as gals, to gals as guys.
Boys have their dicks cut off, and girls their tits:
Civilization reaches brand new highs!
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 