Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: hallucinations

The Walrus Is John

The Walrus Is John

I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.”


–The Beatles

Another book of shocking revelations—
This one from John, who always wanted war.
No longer are there any innovations
In Anti-Trump-Land. From the same old store
Of flat clichés, the latest has-been whore
Bodies forth stuff to feed the generator
Of media resistance. More and more,
We feel we’ve heard it and will hear it later.
Yes, every traitor whines that Trump’s a traitor,
And every bonehead shrieks that Trump’s a fool.
The crowd hates Trump – because, well, Trump’s a hater!
Decrying Trump is terminally cool.
With publication let us go ahead.
Goo goo g’joob. Paul wasn’t really dead.

–Tom Riley



(Note:  Like most people, I thought the Beatles sang “koo koo kachu.”  But the written lyrics say “goo goo g’joob,” so “goo goo g’joob” it is!)




’Twas Biden – or demented Joe—
Who told this loony lifeguard tale.
He dealt with gangsta types, you know:
He couldn’t let his manhood fail.

“Beware the Roman gang, my lad—
Their razor blades, their tempers hot!
Beware that Corn Pop cat: he bad!
A man for slighting he is not!”

The leader, he defied a rule.
Joe couldn’t stand a rule defied.
“Hey, Esther Williams, that ain’t cool.”
Said Corn Pop: “We’ll see you outside!”

Joe asked: “How shall I deal with blacks?
I find the answer in my brain!
When faced with razor blade attacks,
It’s smart to bring a heavy chain!”

Confronted with the emblem of
A servile past, the thug backed down.
He and his homeys learned to love
Caucasian Joe from toe to crown.

“Have I now reestablished my
Imperative supremacy?
Oh, what a hairy-legged guy
I am indeed! Hurray for me!”

Dear Negroes: please don’t take offense
At Joe’s weird crap. Just laugh instead.
This tale contains no real events.
It only happened in Joe’s head.


–Tom Riley


CORN POP: The Only Thing Funnier Than Joe Biden's Crazy Story Is THIS Twitter Reaction To It