Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: incontinence

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Whom shall I sanction (Biden asks) today?
I’ll sanction every state that disagrees.
I’ll sanction every guy that isn’t gay.
I’ll sanction every punk not on his knees
To me and all my buddies. Hard to please,
I’ll sanction those who dare stay uncommitted
To all the lies I pitch as verities.
I’ll sanction those who say they won’t be shitted.
I’m tough as hell, though maybe insect-witted.
I’ll sanction India and China too.
Is it against the facts that I am pitted?
I’ll sanction you and you and you and you!
I’ve soiled my underpants, so why be nice?
America, not I, will pay the price.

–Tom Riley

(Note on the text: Sniffer Joe has of course never been literate enough to use the accusative pronoun “whom” correctly, nor to distinguish between nominative and accusative in such phrases as “America, not I.” And now he’s deep in dementia. He can’t distinguish his fundament from an aperture in the earth. But there’s no percentage in representing Joe’s drooling voice too accurately. T.R.)

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

On the Learned Assessment of Blame

Biden went in his pants. Was it pee?
Maybe so – but most noses agree
That the shit was far worse.
Dr. Jill belched a curse:
“This is all Putin’s fault, seems to me!”

–Tom Riley

Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

Brave Sir Biden Takes a Stand

“I shall stand up to Putin – and Xi!”
Says Joe Biden – while taking a pee
Down his leg, long and hairy.
“Let those tyrants be wary!”
Both are laughing uproariously.

–Tom Riley

He Meant to Do That

He Meant to Do That

Biden’s brain, so long doubted, works fine.
Yea, its signals enliven his spine
With intense energy!
Sometimes, true, we smell pee.
Joe’s self-wetting, though, comes by design.

–Tom Riley