Angelic Opposition

Angelic Opposition

I’ve played chess with some dark angelic powers.
I lost, of course – but, hey, I learned a lot!
Are angels always perfect? They are not.
Across the board, their rooks may look like towers
Of strength. Their moves may puzzle us for hours.
At some things, though, they are not all that hot.
They blunder on occasion. I forgot
Just when I saw this – but no wise man cowers
Before the absence of remembered facts.
I do remember sneering openly
When to my mortal eyes their play looked lax.
Who cares if commentators would agree?
One of the most abused angelic cracks
Is “checkmate.” That is what they said to me.

–Tom Riley

Unleavened

Unleavened

I flee the leaven of the Pharisees.
The Pharisees are mortally offended.
I’ve failed to understand what they intended
Through operation of their bakeries.
For everyone who happily agrees,
They name rewards. But my soul has descended
Into denial that their robes are splendid.
Because I’m wicked, I’m not on my knees.
Hypocrisy that they embrace is not
Hypocrisy. My criticism fails.
The points I make are all unhelpful rot.
The facts I cite are simply empty tales.
How did they shape their doctrines? They forgot.
But they know well what leadership entails.

–Tom Riley

Satisfied Customers

Satisfied Customers

Let’s face it: Creepy Joe was always dumb—
And shifty, telling lies so ill-conceived
That no one ever actually believed.
His self-promotion, always wearisome,
Was sculpted out of shit and bubblegum.
For truths he put to death he never grieved.
His bank account was all that he achieved.
Still, hidden party bosses loved the bum.
His current obvious demented state
Is therefore not a problem with the crew
Who led him to his presidential fate.
The stupider he gets, the more they view
The prick with satisfaction deep and great.
They’re thrilled with all the crap he tends to spew.

–Tom Riley

St. Vlad

St. Vlad

You see clear halo there about his head.
Even foul enemies at New York Post
Acknowledge thoroughly, not just almost,
In him fierce sanctity that fills with dread
Vast demon horde. How many now have fled!
This is because behind him Holy Ghost
Is operating. NATO soon is toast.
Put silly Western lies at last to bed.
And every moment, fans, is icon now.
Saints suffer and are endlessly maligned.
Lacking in neurons, Biden has a cow—
Since overcoming God is task assigned.
Vlad, targeted, still struggles on somehow.
So victory is finally defined.

–Tom Riley

Mr. Parody Holds Off for Once

Mr. Parody Holds Off for Once

(for Pegeen)

The spinster who eschewed all publication
Is now amongst the most renowned of all—
And maybe the most parodied. I call
That justice of a sort. Though imitation
Be insincere, it bears the implication
Of careful observation. To appall,
The parodist must never let wit fall
Into the ditch of drunken relaxation.
Oh, no! He has to watch the details close
And let the solemn target have her say.
If she is pithy, he can’t be verbose.
At any rate, I do not choose today
To target Emily with verses gross.
My sister thinks she’s more than A-okay.

Happy Birthday!

T.R.

2 June 2022

(P.S. 70 is the new 54.)

Fat-Ass White Savior Done Saved the Black Folk Again!

Fat-Ass White Savior Done Saved the Black Folk Again!

A new commandment Shea bestows on us:
“Thou shalt be woke and shalt not mock the woke!”
It follows that we must not make a joke
That Shea does not approve of. On our bus,
He’s now a Freedom Rider! Don’t discuss
How dated is his posture here, nor choke
On his self-righteousness! Wrapped in a cloak
Of many colors, he’s dead serious.
He loves the Black Experience. He does!
There’s never been a savior quite as white
As he is. He transcends red facial fuzz
And honky intonations. Dyn-o-mite!
He cries with a decided nasal buzz.
But still, you Negroes think he’s peachy, right?

–Tom Riley

De Lazaro Parabolico

De Lazaro Parabolico

Across the Great Abyss you view your foes.
In life, you always knew this day would come.
I’m preaching justice here. How wearisome
My mortal voice must sound, its highs and lows
So distant from the aural wine that flows
Where you reside! Indeed, I would be dumb
And keep my words from adding to the sum
Of human chattiness: this goodness knows.
But, oh, I need to comment on your joy
In lines that number twice the holy seven
Even if klutzy errors do annoy
The well-tuned ears of those who know the Leaven
Of Paradise! I’m glad for you, dear boy:
The best revenge is looking down from Heaven.

–Tom Riley

Olga

Olga

You had dynastic reasons to convert,
They tell us. You were cold and calculating,
They tell us. Gutlessly pontificating,
They tell us to be endlessly alert
To these your faults. I trust you are not hurt—
You who look down on those still vaguely waiting
For elevation when the elevating
Comes easily, whose hearts are near inert.
You chose your zeal – but then you burned with zeal.
Christ rose indeed – and proved victorious
In you and in your heirs. The bloodless deal
We make with sin in you was ended thus.
You were, though nowadays the pigs still squeal,
Quite as sincere as any one of us.

–Tom Riley

(St. Olga, Equal to the Apostles, pray for us, that the Lord may grant us strength!)

A Brand New New Orleans

A Brand New New Orleans

(for the Rev. Larry Beane)

In New Orleans, the Rebel cause is done.
They rush to worship Zulu idols now.
You Western Civ types shouldn’t have a cow.
Idolatry is popular and fun!
In former European times, the Sun
Was worshipped – as historians allow.
So why can’t our society kowtow
To savage whores? Your reasons given? None!
Let spiritual license now extend
Into the region of the Southern Cross!
Monotheistic claptrap had to end.
We douse our cities now in heathen sauce.
Crudity is the message we intend.
The Christian heroes of the South? No loss.

–Tom Riley

Sacred Right

Sacred Right

The sacred right of child dismemberment
Is what Joe Biden’s eager to defend.
With Merrick Garland at his side, he’ll bend
Heaven and earth to battle our descent
Into respect for life. All discontent
With Roe v. Wade as truth revealed must end!
What part of “FUCK OFF” don’t you comprehend,
Misogynist pro-lifers? Now repent!
Such is the message sent by Catholic Joe—
And I for one could not be more delighted.
Biden’s a wimp as adversaries go.
Putin and Xi have never been affrighted
Less of a president. The end of Roe,
With Joe as advocate, is clearly sighted.

–Tom Riley