Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Joe Biden

Archie Bunker’s Son-in-Law Explains It All to You

Archie Bunker’s Son-in-Law Explains It All to You

Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.
The self-deception here is, well, immense.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
Critiquing Joe makes very little sense—
According now to jerks who must be high.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.

–Tom Riley

Ain’t No Cure

Ain’t No Cure

For a headache like Biden, there ain’t
Medication. I make my complaint—
But there’s little to do
In response. I pursue
Stoic virtue. My hope, though, is faint.

–Tom Riley

Makes It All Worthwhile

Makes It All Worthwhile

Of most stuff you are not an afforder.
Twenty dollars is now worth a quarter.
Soon you’ll have to eat shit.
But don’t worry one bit:
You will still have the liberal world order!

–Tom Riley

Rules-Based Order Crowd

The Rules-Based Order Crowd

The rules-based order which these pricks defend
Is such a load of shit, the smell would choke
A goat. As they quite visibly descend
Into a state inspired by meth or coke
Or both, their solemn speeches are a joke—
And all their threats as vain as tranny tits.
Touting their wealth, they’ll soon learn they are broke.
Touting their strength, they’ll soon prove helpless shits.
Right now it’s evident they’ve lost their wits.
Their spokesmouth, who was formerly a fool,
Is now a senile fool. He snorts, and spits,
And then insists he’s competent and cool.
How can such hopeless boneheads cast a spell?
Believe them and they’ll drag you down as well.

–Tom Riley

¡No necesitamos a ningunos Democratas hediondos!

¡No necesitamos a ningunos Democratas hediondos!

You are a breakfast taco now, señor.
So says the ugly, shriveled White House witch,
Joe Biden’s nursemaid, formerly his whore.
Before dementia settled hard, the bitch
Would jump into the pool without a stitch—
And Joe would, too, while Secret Service guys
And girls got sick. Now Joe can only twitch,
And soil himself, and read pre-scripted lies.
The thing is, caballero: if you’re wise,
You’ll take the hint, and ditch this fucking ship,
Ignore the empty and self-serving cries
Of Bidens as they take their final dip,
And vote Republican. Be free, though sad!
Republicans suck, too, but not so bad.

–Tom Riley

In Defense of Hunter

In Defense of Hunter

Hunter Biden’s an asshole. It’s sad.
He’s an addict, a failure, a cad,
And a peddler of lies.
Still, it’s clear to the wise
He’s a far better man than his dad.

–Tom Riley

Biden Moment

Biden Moment

I had a Biden moment, so they say.
I cannot quite remember what it was.
My pretense to perfection falls away.
I had a Biden moment! So they say.
I call upon the matter that is gray
Within my skull. I hear strange insects buzz.
I had a Biden moment? So they say.
I cannot quite remember what it was….

–Tom Riley

Sick Perceptions

Sick Perceptions

Putin’s sick, Western experts all say.
Putin’s sick, and he’ll soon go away.
Putin’s sick. When he’s gone,
It’ll be a new dawn!
Putin’s sick – but Joe Biden’s okay.

–Tom Riley

How Are the Flighty Fallen!

How Are the Flighty Fallen!

Joe they put on a bike – to display
His good health and fine balance. Away
With all talk of his age!
People, just turn the page!
So of course he fell off. What a day!

–Tom Riley

Satisfied Customers

Satisfied Customers

Let’s face it: Creepy Joe was always dumb—
And shifty, telling lies so ill-conceived
That no one ever actually believed.
His self-promotion, always wearisome,
Was sculpted out of shit and bubblegum.
For truths he put to death he never grieved.
His bank account was all that he achieved.
Still, hidden party bosses loved the bum.
His current obvious demented state
Is therefore not a problem with the crew
Who led him to his presidential fate.
The stupider he gets, the more they view
The prick with satisfaction deep and great.
They’re thrilled with all the crap he tends to spew.

–Tom Riley