Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: LGBT issues

Remarkable Journey of Frederick Wilson

The Remarkable Journey of Frederick Wilson

Frederick was abbreviated “Rick”
Instead of “Fred.” That truly was step one.
But, when in bathroom stall he first sucked dick,
Rick Wilson then advanced his course – a ton!
Yes, polishing another sort of gun
Affected him in ways that went real deep:
It was transformative, not simply fun.
Calling that thrill to mind, he couldn’t sleep.
Transition surgery is far from cheap.
The Lincoln Project, though, made money fast.
Rick sowed indeed, so now he gets to reap:
He’ll cease to be bald-headed, hairy-assed.
Instead, he’ll be George Conway’s little chickie.
Hey, world: be positive! Say hi to Rikki!

–Tom Riley

(This is the before picture. Rikki owns the copyright on all the after pictures.)

New Papal Pastoral Priority

A New Papal Pastoral Priority

Of course this pope would opt to meet with trannies.
Did he wear lipstick, though, for the occasion?
Granddads who have remade themselves as grannies
Would be impressed – and that’s called moral suasion.
Of papal duties there is no evasion—
And preaching in support of such perversion
Is, much like slapping every little Asian,
A vital duty. Cast no dark aspersion!
Trannies and queers aren’t making an incursion!
Instead, they’re joyfully exemplifying
A bright new age of unrestrained immersion
In cool baptismal waters. Pope ain’t lying!
This meeting was both glorious and nice.
On fashion, too, the pope got great advice.

–Tom Riley

Body by A.K.

Body by A.K.

“They said that I was dying – and they sneered.
Then Andrew Kersting gave me workout tips.
Now, once again, I’m someone to be feared:
You see it in their eyes and trembling lips.
They brag that they’ve been sinking Russian ships
But, when the shirt comes off, they shrink away.
To calm their nerves, they may take little sips
Of liquor. Their belligerence is gay.
Banderites we defeat day after day.
With my own hand, I’ve judo-chopped a lot.
Where is the champion of the CIA?
He’ll soon be showing up to face me – not!
Da! I shall silence all their lies and jokes—
Thanks to the Andrew Kersting Method, folks!”

–Tom Riley

(CIA director says Putin is, if anything, too healthy.)

I Love a Girl in Uniform

I Love a Girl in Uniform

Lesbians used to find a happy place
In military life – but now it’s trannies.
That is a fact the dykes will have to face.
Now chicks with dicks will ogle female fannies.
Now former girls who’ve sacrificed their tits
Will be in charge, aloof, at renamed bases.
Don’t dare complain the brass have lost their wits!
The cards are dealt. You just don’t hold the aces.
Come over here with me. I saved a seat
For every one of you. I’m pouring whiskey.
You can have rocks – although I drink it neat.
Too much sobriety is also risky.
There might be more to do than drink and talk.
On the wild side, why don’t you take a walk?

–Tom Riley

Star of the Show

Star of the Show

Lloyd Austin wants you, soldier boy, to know
That gender bullshit isn’t shit at all:
It’s science. Ready for the donkey show?
You will not be the donkey, please recall:
You will not be the one to have a ball
Or even watch remote from donkey dick.
Up on Lloyd Austin’s stage, you’ll writhe and crawl.
Even if you’re a hunk, you’ll be the chick.
When Austin tells you to, you’ll turn the trick
That’s scheduled – and sincerely like it, too!
You can’t object that progress here is sick.
That is what backward types like Putin do!
Accept your country’s standards, now in style—
And keep in mind: we want to see that smile!

–Tom Riley

Unpassable

Unpassable

He put on makeup like a girl
But couldn’t void that facial stubble.
On lashes he imposed a curl.
He put on makeup – like a girl
Who thinks to snag a duke or earl.
Fred Flintstone more that Betty Rubble,
He put on makeup like a girl—
But couldn’t void that facial stubble.

–Tom Riley

Payment Forever Due

Payment Forever Due

Joe sanctioned Russia, folks – but you’re the ones
Who’ve paid, are paying, and will always pay.
Don’t worry, though. At least he’s seizing guns!
Joe sanctioned Russia, folks. But you’re the ones
He really means to punish. May your sons
Be trannies soon! It’s all in Biden’s day.
Joe sanctioned Russia, folks, but you’re the ones
Who’ve paid, are paying, and will always pay.

–Tom Riley

Our Generals

Our Generals

Our generals – who fled Afghanistan
In lame and idiotic disarray;
Who earnestly believe that, born a man,
A soldier can get surgery and say:
“I’m woman, hear me roar;” who daily play
The game of ceding space to every crank;
Who like their chessboards one uncheckered gray;
Who have their bribes already in the bank—
Our generals are wankers. And they wank
Whenever they express dismissive views
Of Russia. Dominatrix colonels spank
Our generals, who utter ah’s and ooh’s.
Then Fox News calls them up for expert gab.
Goatfuckers whip them, sure – but can they blab!

–Tom Riley

Unity of Purpose

Unity of Purpose

Leftists and neo-cons march arm-in-arm
Against what Mother Russia seeks to do.
Mark Levin yields to Biden’s goofy charm,
And Victor Davis Hanson giggles, too.
Volodymyr’s a hero: get a clue!
His tranny status only makes him cuter.
His distance makes our right-wing figures blue.
They wish he’d be a close, attentive suitor.
Instead, his intellect, like a computer,
Evaluates logistics with precision.
Toward glory he is racing on a scooter
Powered by courage, principle, and vision.
Neo-con hearts back here go pitter-patter.
Stand with Ukraine, you know. What else could matter?

–Tom Riley

Volodymyr’s Genius Plan

Volodymyr’s Genius Plan

Zelensky has his cronies in the West.
When all the pawns upon the board are scattered,
His current recklessness will be professed
From luxury, as if it truly mattered.
He’ll likely find a place in Hollywood
And thus advance the cause of U.S. trannies.
Media adulation will seem good—
As will the sight of round and well-toned fannies.
He’ll join the set that never has to pay
For idiotic and absurd offenses.
Pursuing fresh ambitions that bright day,
He will not mind his former moods and tenses.
Ukraine will be a mess, but he’ll be fine.
I’d say he’s shaped a pretty slick design.

–Tom Riley