Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: light verse

Must Be True

Must Be True

We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true.
The CIA is feeding us our lines!
Who at this time must cease to question? You!
We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true.
The shit we’ve been assigned we spew on cue.
We just ignore all countervailing signs.
We’re sure that what we’re saying must be true:
The CIA is feeding us our lines!

–Tom Riley

Rotten Heart

Rotten Heart

We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex
As we do now in science and in art.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he suggested sodomy’s not smart.
His bigotry the whole West now corrects.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex.

–Tom Riley

It Gets Around

It Gets Around

First they minimized personal spaces,
Then engaged in forbidden embraces.
Did they hide these acts? Sure.
Outwardly they were pure.
But look now: there’s a pox on their faces!

–Tom Riley

Archie Bunker’s Son-in-Law Explains It All to You

Archie Bunker’s Son-in-Law Explains It All to You

Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.
The self-deception here is, well, immense.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
Critiquing Joe makes very little sense—
According now to jerks who must be high.
Because of all those great accomplishments,
The Meathead thinks that Biden’s quite a guy.

–Tom Riley

Remarkable Journey of Frederick Wilson

The Remarkable Journey of Frederick Wilson

Frederick was abbreviated “Rick”
Instead of “Fred.” That truly was step one.
But, when in bathroom stall he first sucked dick,
Rick Wilson then advanced his course – a ton!
Yes, polishing another sort of gun
Affected him in ways that went real deep:
It was transformative, not simply fun.
Calling that thrill to mind, he couldn’t sleep.
Transition surgery is far from cheap.
The Lincoln Project, though, made money fast.
Rick sowed indeed, so now he gets to reap:
He’ll cease to be bald-headed, hairy-assed.
Instead, he’ll be George Conway’s little chickie.
Hey, world: be positive! Say hi to Rikki!

–Tom Riley

(This is the before picture. Rikki owns the copyright on all the after pictures.)

Physicality

Physicality

I’m conscious of my physicality.
Why does the body function as it does—
Maddeningly and inauspiciously?
I’m conscious of my physicality
Anew – and all my conscious cells agree
They’re irritated by the low-grade buzz.
I’m conscious of my physicality:
Why does the body function as it does?

–Tom Riley

Elusive Diagnosis

Elusive Diagnosis

They ordered tests – and then yet further tests.
Humanity is hard to diagnose.
Who truly knows the place where anguish rests?
They ordered tests – and then yet further tests.
In science every human heart invests.
Better to hold internal reason close.
They ordered tests – and then yet further tests.
Humanity is hard to diagnose.

–Tom Riley

Sure Thing

Sure Thing

They malfunction, your neck and your shoulder.
Alas, even by day you feel colder
Than you felt in the past!
Youthful hopes just don’t last.
You’re not wiser at all – but you’re older.

–Tom Riley

Optimistic Alcohol

Optimistic Alcohol

Pessimistic philosophy? Fine.
I’m observing the hurtful design
Just like you. Just like you,
I recoil from it, too—
But I treat these perceptions with wine.

–Tom Riley

Femme Fatale

Femme Fatale

Liz Cheney drove a guy to suicide.
Her temptress looks were not a factor, though.
Eager to take the country for a ride,
Liz Cheney drove a guy to suicide.
“I’m saving our democracy!” she cried.
When she’s in Hell, I pray she’s down there low.
Liz Cheney? Drove a guy to suicide.
Her temptress looks were not a factor, though.

–Tom Riley