Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: limericks

Heroes against Hate

Heroes against Hate

Hate crimes follow from speech that is free.
This is truth – and you can’t disagree.
First Amendment is shit.
On its tatters we spit.
Certitude makes us heroes, you see.

–Tom Riley

Mariupol

Mariupol

Ukronazis just got asses kicked
In the City of Mary. But strict
Is the media rule
Not to tell you, poor fool.
In our culture, it pays to be tricked.

–Tom Riley

Preachers of the Void

Preachers of the Void

“We’re the preachers, dear soul, of the Void.
With the nothingness proudly we’ve toyed
In our plush comfort zone.
Fans delight in our tone.
The great emptiness can be enjoyed!”

–Tom Riley

Ironic

Ironic

Am I being ironic? Who knows?
It is easy, of course, to suppose
I don’t mean what I say
In the usual way.
I keep even myself on my toes.

–Tom Riley

Sanctioners Sanctioned

Sanctioners Sanctioned

We are causing that Putin guy pain

With our sanctions – all due to Ukraine.

              Is he tough?  Not at all.

              We are making him crawl!

Still, the ruble ascends.  It’s insane!

–Tom Riley

Sen. Graham Doubles Down

Sen. Graham Doubles Down

Lindsey’s sick of your Russian patoot,
Mr. Putin! Against you he’ll root!
Is he scared of you? Not!
But you need to be shot!
(What this means is, he thinks that you’re cute.)

–Tom Riley

In Solidarity

In Solidarity

“We will not stand united in vain!
Of our sacrifice, we won’t complain!
But we do have to say
There’s a problem today:
On a map, we can’t locate Ukraine.”

–Tom Riley

Greatest

The Greatest

Against Foreman, who really could hit, he
Took a shitload of punches. Then, witty
As at all times, he cheered
The dark course he had steered.
He died hard? Maybe so – but still pretty.

–Tom Riley

Wi-Fi Down

Wi-Fi Down

Is the Wi-Fi down? Then we’ve descended
Into Hell – as some devil intended!
Oh, divided duality!
What remains is reality—
So it seems that the whole world has ended.

–Tom Riley

Early Wine

Early Wine

Wine with breakfast today – and that’s risky.
No, I don’t stumble, belch, or get frisky—
But a headache might follow
Such a six a.m. swallow.
And the only cure then is noon whiskey.

–Tom Riley