Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: limericks

Very Funny

Very Funny

The comedian, miserable cuss,
Rules the land of Ukraine now – and thus
There arises a rumor:
He’s a guy we must humor.
If he laughs, then the joke is on us.

–Tom Riley

Refinement

Refinement

They’re refined now. They weren’t so before.
If you say a foul word now, they’re sore.
They themselves were once crude.
Now their new attitude
Is established. They’re perfect – and more.

–Tom Riley

That Endless Supply of Vacuity

That Endless Supply of Vacuity

Russia’s run out of missiles again.
It has fired off too many. Amen!
Now its arsenals yawn.
All those missiles are gone!
More tomorrow will come. See you then!

–Tom Riley

Adding Detail

Adding Detail

Once the narrative, lad, is in place,
Then we let them leak out into space,
All the details designed
For the unconvinced mind.
Let our lies put a smile on that face!

–Tom Riley

Anatomy of a Forgettery

Anatomy of a Forgettery

Is it really dementia? It’s not.
Mental flames there were never that hot.
Was there ever an hour
When he showed mental power?
If there ever was, fans, he forgot.

–Tom Riley

Adding Detail

Adding Detail

Once the narrative, lad, is in place,
Then we let them leak out into space,
All the details designed
For the unconvinced mind.
Let our lies put a smile on that face!

–Tom Riley

Volunteer Leader

Volunteer Leader

When you say you’re my leader, I say:
“What the fuck, what the hell, what the hey?”
I’m persuaded, at last,
Not at all – and steadfast
In demanding that you go away.

–Tom Riley

Imperial John Bolton

Imperial John Bolton

The ridiculous walrus mustache,
The demeanor that threatens a crash:
These define the vile freak.
Hey, he’s far from unique!
And his empire will soon be mere ash.

–Tom Riley

Unworshipped Idol

Unworshipped Idol

It’s Zelensky we labor to please
In the West. Putin: down on your knees!
So… you dare to defy
This our deified guy?
“Winter’s coming – and Europe will freeze.”

–Tom Riley

Advances

Advances

Has Ukraine made advances? Hurray!
That’s the end of the war: so we say.
Thus already we boast:
Putin’s finished! He’s toast!
(Russia might not admit this today.)

–Tom Riley

(Russian soldier celebrating victory in the Great Patriotic War.)