Critical Thinking

Critical Thinking

“Russia’s losing a thousand a day!”
Western analysts breezily say.
“So we’re told by Ukraine.
That’s our constant refrain.
Ghost of Kyiv is assisting. Hurray!”

–Tom Riley

(Actual Russian losses less than a tenth of Western estimates.)

Thanks for the Tanks!

Thanks for the Tanks!

Why are we sending tanks now to Ukraine?
I thought those guys already turned the tide
Back in September. Why today complain
That Ukies are enduring homicide
On battlefields where they can hardly hide
From Holy Mother Russia’s sure advance?
Are we perhaps admitting that we lied
In former months? Do flames engulf our pants?
Trannies and neo-cons both love this dance
Of narratives that can’t bear scrutiny
For more than twenty seconds. Take a chance
On global love! They say to you and me.
It may be risky, but it’s really nice!
And only distant Slavs will pay the price!

–Tom Riley

Guest Priest

Guest Priest

The guest priest at my parish seems to buy
The NATO propaganda absolutely.
Oh, he’s repeating every single lie,
The guest priest at my parish. Seems to buy
The whole cartoon. The truth need not apply.
I do resent his crap – but not acutely.
The guest priest at my parish seems to buy
The NATO propaganda absolutely.

–Tom Riley

False Indeed

False Indeed

It may be false, indeed, what I declare—
But nonetheless I can’t be called a liar.
Expecting facts from me is far from fair.
It may be false indeed, what I declare
With unrestrained conviction. On the air
It may ring loud and never quite expire.
It may be false indeed, what I declare.
But, nonetheless, I can’t be called a liar.

–Tom Riley

Adding Detail

Adding Detail

Once the narrative, lad, is in place,
Then we let them leak out into space,
All the details designed
For the unconvinced mind.
Let our lies put a smile on that face!

–Tom Riley

Adding Detail

Adding Detail

Once the narrative, lad, is in place,
Then we let them leak out into space,
All the details designed
For the unconvinced mind.
Let our lies put a smile on that face!

–Tom Riley

Treason Trial

Treason Trial

In Mark Shea’s view, most everyone’s a traitor.
(He has no principles he could betray.)
His keyboard cry is, “Death to the invader!”
In Mark Shea’s view, most everyone’s a traitor!
Being a chronic gay porn masturbator,
He feels his sissy neurons slip away.
In Mark Shea’s view, most everyone’s a traitor.
(He has no principles he could betray.)

–Tom Riley

(Line 5: Not a literal allegation, but arguably true in a figurative sense. The satirist here of course has no more evidence that Mark Shea is a chronic gay porn masturbator than Shea himself has that Tulsi Gabbard is a traitor. And, if evidence of Shea’s degraded habits actually surfaced, we’d all try to avoid looking at it.)

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Creepy Joe and the Great Sanction Orgy

Whom shall I sanction (Biden asks) today?
I’ll sanction every state that disagrees.
I’ll sanction every guy that isn’t gay.
I’ll sanction every punk not on his knees
To me and all my buddies. Hard to please,
I’ll sanction those who dare stay uncommitted
To all the lies I pitch as verities.
I’ll sanction those who say they won’t be shitted.
I’m tough as hell, though maybe insect-witted.
I’ll sanction India and China too.
Is it against the facts that I am pitted?
I’ll sanction you and you and you and you!
I’ve soiled my underpants, so why be nice?
America, not I, will pay the price.

–Tom Riley

(Note on the text: Sniffer Joe has of course never been literate enough to use the accusative pronoun “whom” correctly, nor to distinguish between nominative and accusative in such phrases as “America, not I.” And now he’s deep in dementia. He can’t distinguish his fundament from an aperture in the earth. But there’s no percentage in representing Joe’s drooling voice too accurately. T.R.)

In Practice

In Practice

They found your secret, sir. It’s time to lie.
But then, you’ve kept in practice, pretty much.
You knew determined enemies would try.
They found your secret! Sir: it’s time to lie.
The skills you’ve cultivated now apply.
With fellow liars you have kept in touch.
They found your secret, sir! It’s time to lie!
But then, you’ve kept in practice – pretty much.

–Tom Riley

Listen Close

Listen Close

You can’t, my lad, believe a word they say—
But listen close for evidence of lies.
Distrust, once fostered, never goes away.
You can’t, my lad, believe a word they say.
Serious are the games they opt to play—
And deadly. Caution here is doubly wise.
You can’t, my lad, believe a word they say—
But listen close for evidence of lies.

–Tom Riley