Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: mass media

Depressing Presser

Depressing Presser

 

 

At the last presser, how the slugs abase
Themselves before the idol they adore.
Yes, funny ears may flank his smirking face—
But punks pledge adulation evermore.
Every guy there becomes a lipsticked whore
Flashing, in fishnet stockings, loads of thigh.
And there is more submission yet in store:
Not one cunt in the room is close to dry.
Questions boil down to: “Love you! Hi, hi, hi!”
They ask him to evaluate his own
Transcendent greatness. When he does, they sigh.
Out in the viewing audience, I groan.
Yet I rejoice – to know the genre’s past.
This presidential love fest is his last!

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(The Lord Obama grants obsequious press corps one final press conference.)

Spies Like Them

Spies Like Them

 

 

CIA types exert hoarded power,
Lest before Donald Trump they all cower.
And they get lots of aid
From folks also afraid:
Every newspunk pretends he’s Jack Bauer.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Pope Francis versus the Fake News Demon!

Pope Francis versus the Fake News Demon!

 

 

The pope is speaking out against fake news!
Only official sources should be read
Or listened to or viewed. Official views
Are sensible. Dissenting views instead
Cure quietude and stir the walking dead.
The pope hates asses who are full of shit
And spread it wide, no doubt by Satan led.
With him, fake news can never be a hit.
Fake news is giving him another fit—
And who can blame him? Francis, I’m with you!
Those fake news stories make me want to spit.
I howl at sites that do not have a clue.
I clicked on one this morning, vile and vain.
The headline read: “Pope Francis has a brain.”

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Pope decries “fake news” as form of coprophagia.)

Defeated Parties

Defeated Parties

 

 

That the Democrats stumbled is sweet.
It was clear they could not take the heat.
Gloating now, though? A waste!
What I love is the taste
Of the media’s utter defeat.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Blank Fact-Check

Blank Fact-Check

 

 

“You must fact-check all Trump’s vicious lies!”
cry the pundits. “His grunts and his sighs
are dishonest as well!
Fact-check Hillary’s? Hell,
guy, not even the F.B.I. tries….”

 

 

–Tom Riley

Denunciation

Denunciation

 

 

It’s time of course for more denunciation.
Trump said La Raza’s judge was not his buddy.
GOP leaders, stunned by such a cruddy
attitude, rushed to reassure the nation
that they would offer proper fulmination,
distinguishing themselves from all the muddy
sentiments Trump produced. They’d beat him bloody!
They would evade his every implication!
What a long summer we are in for, fans!
The media will serve us just this shit
month after month. They don’t need subtle plans.
It’s easy, making Ryan throw a fit.
I hope the leadership still understands
that, when they cry out, they will pay for it.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Paul Ryan denounces Trump’s comments on judge.)

Hillary-Land

Hillary-Land

 

 

Folks are betting that Clinton will win.
That’s the story. That’s also the spin.
Yes, they have it all planned.
Oh, but Hillary-land
is a land I don’t want to be in!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Latest News

Latest News

 

 

Trump’s behind in the polls. (Or he’s not.)
He ain’t got the stuff Hillary’s got!
He cannot do this dance!
Win? He ain’t got a chance!
She has already won! (Lie a lot?)

 

 

–Tom Riley

Historic Moment

Historic Moment

 

 

What an historic moment! Hillary’s
become the first First Lady to succeed
in seizing nominations. Fate agrees
with all her scheming. I am thrilled indeed
on her behalf. Dishonesty and greed
pay off — and sometimes in historic ways.
Into a crooked future she may lead
the nation. Ah, the sycophantic praise
she’ll merit from the media! These days,
anything called a Democrat is great.
Her screech will pass for eloquence, and rays
of sunshine will embrace her and her mate.
Interns will suck him off. He’ll be euphoric.
We’ll all admit the moment is historic.

 

 

–Tom Riley

I’m a Hater

I’m a Hater

 

 

I have not watched the latest debate.
It’s recorded — and I’ll let it wait.
I am not TV’s chump.
Are there problems with Trump?
It’s the media, folks, that I hate.

 

 

–Tom Riley