Unworshipped Idol

Unworshipped Idol

It’s Zelensky we labor to please
In the West. Putin: down on your knees!
So… you dare to defy
This our deified guy?
“Winter’s coming – and Europe will freeze.”

–Tom Riley

Advances

Advances

Has Ukraine made advances? Hurray!
That’s the end of the war: so we say.
Thus already we boast:
Putin’s finished! He’s toast!
(Russia might not admit this today.)

–Tom Riley

(Russian soldier celebrating victory in the Great Patriotic War.)

How to Beat Russian Orcs after Goatfuckers Give You Swirlies

How to Beat Russian Orcs after Goatfuckers Give You Swirlies

Fag generals who took it up the ass
In far Afghanistan grow critical.
The Russian military cannot pass
Their tests. Those Russky orcs are terrible
At soldiering – whereas the wonderful
Ukrainians are trained by us to show
Respect for every gender and give skull
To every tranny officer they know.
It isn’t how you fight: it’s whom you blow!
Austin and Milley promulgate this rule—
For Pentagonians would have it so.
Wokeness is not a waste: it’s super cool!
Cisgendered males are nowadays old news.
That is why Putin’s men are sure to lose.

–Tom Riley

Rotten Heart

Rotten Heart

We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex
As we do now in science and in art.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he suggested sodomy’s not smart.
His bigotry the whole West now corrects.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex.

–Tom Riley

After This Murder

After This Murder

For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course
And put those Ukronazis on the rack!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back—
But there’s a time to go on the attack
Without restraint. Shirtless, spur on that horse!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course!

–Tom Riley

St. Vlad

St. Vlad

You see clear halo there about his head.
Even foul enemies at New York Post
Acknowledge thoroughly, not just almost,
In him fierce sanctity that fills with dread
Vast demon horde. How many now have fled!
This is because behind him Holy Ghost
Is operating. NATO soon is toast.
Put silly Western lies at last to bed.
And every moment, fans, is icon now.
Saints suffer and are endlessly maligned.
Lacking in neurons, Biden has a cow—
Since overcoming God is task assigned.
Vlad, targeted, still struggles on somehow.
So victory is finally defined.

–Tom Riley

Otherwise

Otherwise

We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv,
But otherwise the truth is what we tell
Compulsively. We don’t seek to deceive!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv?
Well, hopeful fictions help punks to achieve
Confidence. You don’t like it? Burn in Hell!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv—
But, otherwise, the truth is what we tell!

–Tom Riley

Approaching Expiration Date

Approaching Expiration Date

Truth: Ukraine will be pacified soon.
Ghost of Kyiv fans learned quickly to swoon
Over fictions incredible.
Shit, though, doesn’t stay edible.
Folks will presently sing a new tune.

–Tom Riley

Der Untergang des Banderavolkes

Der Untergang des Banderavolkes

Ukronazis surrendered. Their tune
Changed completely. Their magical rune
Failed to save them. They’re done.
NATO? Still having fun.
They’ll recruit some new Nazis real soon.

–Tom Riley

Insightful Analysis

Insightful Analysis

“Russia’s losing!” So says the U.K.
Once again. “Ukronazis display
Such extreme fortitude
That it’s frightfully rude
To point out that they’re quitting today.”

–Tom Riley