After This Murder
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course
And put those Ukronazis on the rack!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back—
But there’s a time to go on the attack
Without restraint. Shirtless, spur on that horse!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course!
–Tom Riley
St. Vlad
You see clear halo there about his head.
Even foul enemies at New York Post
Acknowledge thoroughly, not just almost,
In him fierce sanctity that fills with dread
Vast demon horde. How many now have fled!
This is because behind him Holy Ghost
Is operating. NATO soon is toast.
Put silly Western lies at last to bed.
And every moment, fans, is icon now.
Saints suffer and are endlessly maligned.
Lacking in neurons, Biden has a cow—
Since overcoming God is task assigned.
Vlad, targeted, still struggles on somehow.
So victory is finally defined.
–Tom Riley
Otherwise
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv,
But otherwise the truth is what we tell
Compulsively. We don’t seek to deceive!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv?
Well, hopeful fictions help punks to achieve
Confidence. You don’t like it? Burn in Hell!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv—
But, otherwise, the truth is what we tell!
–Tom Riley
Approaching Expiration Date
Truth: Ukraine will be pacified soon.
Ghost of Kyiv fans learned quickly to swoon
Over fictions incredible.
Shit, though, doesn’t stay edible.
Folks will presently sing a new tune.
–Tom Riley
Der Untergang des Banderavolkes
Ukronazis surrendered. Their tune
Changed completely. Their magical rune
Failed to save them. They’re done.
NATO? Still having fun.
They’ll recruit some new Nazis real soon.
–Tom Riley
Insightful Analysis
“Russia’s losing!” So says the U.K.
Once again. “Ukronazis display
Such extreme fortitude
That it’s frightfully rude
To point out that they’re quitting today.”
–Tom Riley
Pitiful Putin
Putin’s dying of some dread disease.
Which one? Don’t be impertinent, please!
The point is, things are bad
For the loser named Vlad!
(We produce these vague rumors with ease.)
–Tom Riley
Another Bush War
Why today are Ukrainians dying
While our CIA heroes keep lying
And our real prospects sink?
George Bush thought he could think—
A belief that was quite satisfying.
–Tom Riley
Further Moments of Triumph
Ukronazis surrender, heads spinning
Despite NATO advice underpinning
All their excellent schemes:
It’s the stuff of bad dreams.
Still, I’m sure that Ukraine must be winning.
–Tom Riley
Hero Worship 2022
“Heroic Azov Nazis….” Cross that out!
“Heroic Azov fighters….” Yeah, that’s better.
It’s only Russian bots who ever shout
“Heroic Azov Nazis!” Cross that out!
Their Nazi status once we did not doubt—
But now it pays to be a swift forgetter.
Heroic Azov Nazis? Cross that out!
Heroic Azov fighters! Yeah, that’s better.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 