Instructions from the Grand Inquisitor

Instructions from the Grand Inquisitor

Just say what
you think. A heretic’s better
than a hypocrite.

–Tom Riley

Variations

Variations

Does Pope Insanity say ABC?
I sure could use a different alphabet.
Greek or Cyrillic might suit such as me.
Does Pope Insanity say ABC
And then insist that everyone agree?
He’ll make a better Christian of me yet.
Does Pope Insanity say ABC?
I sure could use a different alphabet.

–Tom Riley

Happy Campers

Happy Campers

 
Happy campers think Francis is swell.
No, you can’t say they’re under a spell.
What they truly adore
They embrace like a whore.
They’ll be happily camping in Hell.

 
–Tom Riley

Thank Him

Thank Him

 
Bergoglio’s fashioning a new religion—
And hoping that you’ll thank him, lad, for that.
Resemblance to the Old Faith? There’s a smidgen.
Bergoglio’s fashioning a new religion,
However. Won’t you be his willing pigeon?
Insisting that he’s not an autocrat,
Bergoglio’s fashioning a new religion—
And hoping that you’ll thank him, lad, for that.

 
–Tom Riley

 

Like Father, Like Son

Like Father, Like Son

“Personally opposed” — so daddy claimed.
But Andrew throbs with baby-killing zeal.
With dumb-ass right-to-lifers he won’t deal.
By earnest sermons he will not be shamed.
His thirst for fetal blood will not be tamed.
Humane misgivings he will never feel.
All such considerations are unreal
To Andrew Cuomo. Let him not be blamed—
But rather credited! When Mario
Became the founder of this bloody fun,
Already it was possible to know
That things would come to this. Old laws undone
End in laws shiny new. Hey, what a show!
In Hell is daddy cheering: “Well done, son!”

–Tom Riley

Mario Cuomo, son of a humble organ grinder’s monkey, rose to prominence as founder of New York’s pro-abortion gubernatorial dynasty. He is now frying in Hell.

Another Self-Important Episcopalian Saves the Church

Another Self-Important Episcopalian Saves the Church

The world wasn’t what good Christians hoped.
Oh, with wickedness which of us coped?
We had come, if you care,
To the point of despair.
So what saved us? Hey, Father Dwight poped!

–Tom Riley

Franciscus Magus

Franciscus Magus

Hey, kids! Watch Catholic teaching disappear!
Pope Francis does amazing stuff with ease.
Discarding all our past authorities,
He makes things different in the now and here.
Does Genesis exceed its proper sphere
When it establishes tough penalties
For murderers? Ha! That’s not worth a sneeze!
Pope Francis buys the murderer a beer.
Don’t shake your head! It all makes perfect sense.
By juggling emphases – yes, look how slick!—
And silencing insistent malcontents,
Miraculous Pope Francis makes things click.
He’s working wonders with his staged events.
You’ll never figure out his magic trick.

–Tom Riley

(Bergoglio reverses Catholic teaching on capital punishment.)

A “Sonnet” for Easter?

A “Sonnet” for Easter?

 

Insulting God with sheer incompetence,

The fraud Shea peddles yet more Easter verses.

In false rhymes his boneheadedness immerses

The reader’s ear.  Of course, he makes no sense

Babbling inanities.  In all events,

My rigor, fierce and Juvenalian, curses

His fumbling fog, which never quite disperses,

His carelessness, which never near repents.

Sad truth:  his editors are boneheads, too.

He fails in scansion and in rhyme?  So what?

He fakes Catholicism through and through.

He poses as a sage, though he’s a nut.

Ghettoized Catholics just don’t have a clue.

He drops his tent-like pants.  They kiss his butt.

 

–Tom Riley

Diminished Returns

Diminished Returns

 

Does Pope Francis upset and offend?
Well, he used to. The way he’d descend
Gave us nightmares till dawn.
Nowadays we just yawn
When he chats with his atheist friend.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Vatican denies that Francis denied the existence of Hell.)

Et Ne Nos Inducas in Tentationem

Et Ne Nos Inducas in Tentationem

 

The Pater Noster isn’t good enough
For Francis. No! He needs a new revision.
And, you who curl your lip, keep your derision
Down in your heart, with all that nasty stuff
That Francis doesn’t like! Things hard and rough
In the Lord’s Prayer are headed for collision
With Francis and his cool, inspired decision.
If you don’t like the latest version, tough!
The Greek we translate must be clarified!
The Aramaic that we don’t possess
Must rise again! The pope won’t be denied,
But you are in denial nonetheless.
Come on now and admit that Scripture lied!
What’s next, it’s clear, is anybody’s guess.

 

—Tom Riley