Honest Opinion from a Kneeling Position
Stephen King thinks Bandera was great:
Yes, a Nazi tall geeks could fellate
While he stood for Ukraine!
If of this you complain,
You’re a right-wing purveyor of hate!
–Tom Riley
After This Murder
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course
And put those Ukronazis on the rack!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back—
But there’s a time to go on the attack
Without restraint. Shirtless, spur on that horse!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course!
–Tom Riley
De Matribus Heroicis Federationis Russianae
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids.
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.
To loony boxes we have lost the lids.
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids—
While perverts over here are making bids
On boys dressed up as girls. Clear disconnects:
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids;
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.
–Tom Riley
Body by A.K.
“They said that I was dying – and they sneered.
Then Andrew Kersting gave me workout tips.
Now, once again, I’m someone to be feared:
You see it in their eyes and trembling lips.
They brag that they’ve been sinking Russian ships—
But, when the shirt comes off, they shrink away.
To calm their nerves, they may take little sips
Of liquor. Their belligerence is gay.
Banderites we defeat day after day.
With my own hand, I’ve judo-chopped a lot.
Where is the champion of the CIA?
He’ll soon be showing up to face me – not!
Da! I shall silence all their lies and jokes—
Thanks to the Andrew Kersting Method, folks!”
–Tom Riley
Zelensky’s Friendship
Hey, soldier! When you have your tranny shower,
Perhaps our ally, brave Volodymyr,
Will slip in close to you. You’ll feel his power
Radiate – but you’ll have no cause for fear.
Remember: you are fighting for the queer
Nowadays – and for gender liberation.
Those have become our highest values here
As it perdures, the noble Yankee nation.
Putin may make a macho demonstration
Of judo skill – but such is not your task.
You must accept our worldview’s penetration,
Be boosted frequently, and wear a mask.
This is the price you’ll pay – but, lad, it’s cheap:
Zelensky’s friendship won’t go very deep.
–Tom Riley
Otherwise
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv,
But otherwise the truth is what we tell
Compulsively. We don’t seek to deceive!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv?
Well, hopeful fictions help punks to achieve
Confidence. You don’t like it? Burn in Hell!
We lied about the fucking Ghost of Kyiv—
But, otherwise, the truth is what we tell!
–Tom Riley
Approaching Expiration Date
Truth: Ukraine will be pacified soon.
Ghost of Kyiv fans learned quickly to swoon
Over fictions incredible.
Shit, though, doesn’t stay edible.
Folks will presently sing a new tune.
–Tom Riley
Join the Club
Finland, Sweden: they’re joining the clique.
At the bear they’ll both shake the same stick
As invaded Ukraine.
Will they feel the same pain?
If they don’t, it’ll be a neat trick.
–Tom Riley
Evacuated to the Enemy
The Ukronazis got evacuated
All the way into Russian custody.
A triumph – as Ukraine has clearly stated!
The Ukronazis got evacuated!
The truth in such reports is what is hated.
How obvious can all these liars be?
The Ukronazis got evacuated—
All the way into Russian custody.
–Tom Riley
Der Untergang des Banderavolkes
Ukronazis surrendered. Their tune
Changed completely. Their magical rune
Failed to save them. They’re done.
NATO? Still having fun.
They’ll recruit some new Nazis real soon.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 