Guest Priest
The guest priest at my parish seems to buy
The NATO propaganda absolutely.
Oh, he’s repeating every single lie,
The guest priest at my parish. Seems to buy
The whole cartoon. The truth need not apply.
I do resent his crap – but not acutely.
The guest priest at my parish seems to buy
The NATO propaganda absolutely.
–Tom Riley
Very Interested
What are our U.S. interests over there
In Eastern Europe? Fucking New York Post
Can’t say. To be explicit they don’t care.
Easier to be haunted by the Ghost
Of Cold Wars Past – and then in vain to boast
About the might our tranny military
Will wield at moments when it’s needed most.
The quintessential hero is a fairy
Here in the West. Are evil Chechens hairy?
Has Putin lost his ever-lovin’ mind?
Of Russians every blabbermouth is wary.
Our interests over there are undefined—
But, like a dominatrix, still insistent.
What matter now if Eastern Europe’s distant?
–Tom Riley
A Bunch of Regular Guys
But Wagner didn’t do it all alone.
Regulars of the Russian Federation
Were heroes, too – and, in the danger zone
Triumphant, wreaking utter devastation
Upon the Ukronazis whom that pest
Zelensky played like pawns. His NATO bosses
Thought that his idiotic plan was best—
And so the Ukies took tremendous losses.
In spite of all the smoke that CIA
Imbeciles blow, the Russian cause advances—
While leaders of the West, far, far away,
Continue to adopt unyielding stances.
If Putin could take D.C., district squalid,
I think he would be doing us a solid.
–Tom Riley
Special of the Day on a Very Special Day
(12 January 2023)
The selfless heroes of the Wagner Group
Have won – and Soledar is in their hands.
This shouldn’t be reported as a scoop.
Anyone in the world who understands
Should have foreseen that NATO’s vain demands
Could never make the Ukronazis win.
The propaganda shifts like windblown sands.
Is this a smirk I’m wearing? Just a grin.
In Heaven, Russian saints ignored the spin
And relayed to their comrades vital grace.
The enemy, awash in Western sin,
Had no saints on his side, and yielded place.
Prigozhin, I attest here openly:
You served up one delicious victory!
–Tom Riley
(Yevgeny Prigozhin, who governs the Wagner Private Military Corporation, also runs a prominent Russian catering operation.)
That Endless Supply of Vacuity
Russia’s run out of missiles again.
It has fired off too many. Amen!
Now its arsenals yawn.
All those missiles are gone!
More tomorrow will come. See you then!
–Tom Riley
On the March
Ukraine is on the march and soon will win,
The Ghost of Kyiv assured me in a dream.
To doubt his sacred word would be a sin.
Ukraine is on the march – and soon will win!
Oh, let the Age of Certainty begin!
Let it be proved correct, the Western scheme!
Ukraine is on the march (and soon will win).
The Ghost of Kyiv assured me in a dream.
–Tom Riley
Pravda
Putin fell down the stairs and shit his pants!
Our confidential sources say it’s true!
Do propaganda narratives advance
Beyond the reach of rational review?
You ain’t heard nothin’ yet! This story too
Is spreading: Putin’s actually possessed
By 15,000 devils, who on cue
Direct him to give humankind no rest.
What’s more, his captured agents have confessed
That he’s an alien from outer space.
When ships abduct the girls who look the best,
They serve these up to Vlad. Such is the case.
Objections to these proven facts are few.
Our confidential sources say they’re true!
–Tom Riley
Exhortation
Here in the West, our leaders, mostly queers,
Are urging all the Slavs in far Ukraine
To keep on fighting. Keep it up for years,
You guys. Accept uncertainty and pain—
And, if complaint’s insistent, then complain
That Russia isn’t nice to flaming gays!
To make peace with those orcs would be insane.
Oh, please maintain belligerent displays!
Through self-extermination, you’ll win praise
From those who have invested eagerly
In what was once your country, whom it pays
To pitch a murderous mentality.
Your future will of course be far from sunny—
But still you’ll launder further Biden money.
–Tom Riley
What Our Current Proxy War Is Really All About
Because Joe wants to sniff the little boys
As well as little girls, we push gay shit
Around the world. The Biden-relished joys
Of LGBTQ must be a hit
Not only here but everywhere we sit
Our great big national (and global) ass
Down, even if it doesn’t seem to fit.
We won’t give any other land a pass.
But Russia isn’t playing nice. Alas,
It’s outlawed tranny truth and flipped the bird
At every lad who longs to be a lass!
That stance is so right-wing that it’s absurd!
Mark Milley and his pals are furious.
They opt for conflict – representing us.
–Tom Riley
Not a Boob
Zelensky’s not the boob that some suppose.
Don’t judge him by the shirt he never changes!
What clever leaders know, Zelensky knows.
Through many disciplines his knowledge ranges—
And wise men far and wide are on his side:
To Russians they extend no toleration.
This clear advantage cannot be denied.
It augments his insightful cogitation.
To call him boob is far beyond the pale.
Let that abusive word now be discarded!
He is our global hero, folks: all hail!
He isn’t talking shit. He’s barely farted!
He’s not a boob, his allies all agree.
Nevertheless, he plays one on TV.
–Tom Riley
(This little sonnet first appeared as a comment at Awful Avalanche, where blogs the astoundingly perceptive Yalensis.)
Flammeus Gladius 