Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: self-deception

Omnia Illam Rapiunt

Omnia Illam Rapiunt

To the Pezzulo, everything is rape.
By virtue of her penetrative name,
She shapes a vision only she could shape.
Fierce male aggression conscience cannot tame
Surrounds her gorgeousness and has one aim:
To subjugate her femininity!
Her sweetness is the treasure it would claim.
It threatens underparts incessantly.
Yes, in reality, this cannot be.
She’s as attractive as a hog’s behind.
If blind folks smell what you and I can see,
They will concur – and truth is what they’ll find.
No manhood in the whole wide world is rising.
(But should this stop a gal from fantasizing?)

–Tom Riley

Intermittent Jew

The Intermittent Jew

 

Shea’s pretending again he’s a Jew.
Oddly, those he convinces aren’t few.
Followers shout hurray
As he grouses: “Oy, vey!”
They all want to believe that it’s true.

 

–Tom Riley

Dexter’s Guarantee

Dexter’s Guarantee

 

“What is it with you and rape?  No one’s raping anyone.”

 

—Dexter Morgan

 

Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
No one is raping anybody here.
With bogus dread you’re anxious to explode.
Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
I fear your self-deception’s overflowed.
You’re nuts – though maybe crazily sincere.
Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
No one is raping anybody here.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(The Pezzulo reports imaginary rape threats.)

Ain’t It the Truth?

Ain’t It the Truth?

 

He’s so hot to fight Nazis, he’ll faint
If he misses his chance! My complaint?
Ain’t no Nazis to fight.
Still, it all works out right –
For a General Patton he ain’t.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea still pretends to fight Nazis.)

One Popular Guy

One Popular Guy

 

Social justice twit Andy Ternay,
On a t-shirt he wore, had his say:
“Hey, fuck Trump and fuck you!”
He imagined this cue
Made minorities shout: “Hip-hurray!”

 

—Tom Riley

Lost in the Proper Illusion

Lost in the Proper Illusion

 

Good morning, sir!
I can see your self-deception
is going well.

 

—Tom Riley

It’s a Fair Cop, but Society Is to Blame

It’s a Fair Cop, but Society Is to Blame

 

 

Do Muslim terrorists cut priestly throats?
Oh, no!  Just ask the pope!  It is the poor
Who, lacking opportunity (he notes),
Express themselves in violence.  Their store
Of sorrow on an unfamiliar shore
Moves them to opt for anti-Christian acts.
Without good jobs, they raise our murder score.
According to the pope, those are the facts.
So when the jihad jockeys howl, relax!
It isn’t terrorism, folks – just crime.
If slaughtered priests are real soon piled in stacks,
Poverty is to blame.  Time after time,
The pope upholds this simple rule of thumb.
(Poverty also makes him really dumb.)

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(First appeared in Trinacria, No. 16, Fall 2016.)

Captain Playactor

Captain Playactor

 

 

Cap’s big head just got bigger — and lighter.
On his own line the prick is a biter–
and has reeled himself in.
Let correction begin!
You’re an actor, dear sir, not a fighter.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Chris Evans hopes he “runs into” ex-Marine Nathan Damigo.)

Logically Speaking

Logically Speaking

 

 

You teach logic, intelligent guy?
You’re a master of thinking? My, my!
Though my interest is slight,
I do read what you write—
And your logic’s an infant’s vain cry.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Heroic Resolution

Heroic Resolution

 

Hurray! Mark Shea is here to rescue Jews!
He brings to bear not only heaps of smarts
But also mastery of martial arts.
Vile Nazi swine are trembling at the news.
He’s driven by his cool progressive views.
He’s self-assured as deadly action starts.
And pretty Jewish females from their hearts
Will thank him as they watch the Nazis lose.
But if, as is more probable today,
It isn’t Nazi swine but Muslim saints
Who want to sweep the Jewish race away,
Who want to scourge the Jew until he faints
Then drown him in his own blood – what the hey!—
Progressive Mark will then have no complaints.

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

NOTES

Line 2: “Heaps of smarts”: Irony is my most important product.

Line 3: “Martial arts”: If you know what Shea looks like, you will especially enjoy the irony of this image. Kung fu panda, indeed!

Line 4: By “Nazi swine,” Shea means Trump supporters. No indication that these are Nazis? Doesn’t matter to Shea….

Lines 9-10: Since the composition of the sonnet, a disgruntled radical Muslim – and not a Nazi – has indeed been identified as the culprit in at least some of these crimes.