Colbert can’t get his mind off Putin’s prick.
That Russian organ occupies his dreams.
Hour after hour, he thinks of it — and creams.
You’re not allowed to say this makes you sick.
Oh, no! For such a dreamer, punk or chick,
It’s A-okay to go to great extremes.
Some fantasize about pro football teams.
For others, Russian strongmen do the trick.
And how does Putin feel about Colbert’s
Obsession? He is like a border wall–
Though in the shower Colbert shakes and stares
And drools with eagerness that might appal.
You can’t conclude that Putin even cares.
He is a judo expert, after all.