Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: superheroes

Sonnet on a Scene from the Zack Snyder Cut

Sonnet on a Scene from the Zack Snyder Cut

Jittery Barry suddenly seems still.
This presages a shift to super speed.
The dog’s bark stretches, thus does not grow shrill.
Now gorgeous little Iris is in need.
The Flash’s shoes can’t hold his feet. Indeed,
Can anything? The fluid known as glass
Is scattered by a single touch. World, heed:
The speedster chooses now to move his ass.
Touch her hair first – a tribute, not a pass.
The hot dog pocketed for later use.
And now, as member of the smitten class,
Make safe that perfect face, that fine caboose.
A final glance exchanged, warm intimation.
Such is the realm of mortal adoration.

–Tom Riley

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T Is for Typical!

T Is for Typical!

Toward the battle I flew not – but ran.
Though not steely, I do what I can.
Now I’m holding the line.
One advantage is mine:
Kryptonite can’t harm Typical Man!

–Tom Riley

Big Trouble for Little Tommy

Big Trouble for Little Tommy

I’m in big trouble now. The Mighty Shea
Hath sworn that he will fight me tooth and nail—
Or maybe oil and lipid. Can he fail
To smash me in his superhero way?
His volume is a frightening display,
His mass an almost legendary tale.
Some fans have christened him the Killer Whale.
How can I ever hold such force at bay?
My hopes are fading fast. I’ve done the math.
With planetary size I can’t compete.
But wait! I’ll scatter donuts in his path!
As Shea distractions, those work super neat.
At any rate, though fired with righteous wrath,
His giant ass is still right in its seat.

–Tom Riley

Justice Babe

Justice Babe

 

(for Emmylu)

 

What? Have you longed to soar through thunderstorms
And smash invading UFOs to bits?
To say the magic password that transforms?
To manifest the Batman’s boundless wits?
Have you longed to give supervillains fits
Just when they’re grasping global domination?
Have you thought that mortality’s the pits
And chafed at mankind’s unexalted station?
Ha! You’ve already gripped your exaltation
And occupied the world of childhood dreams.
You’ve battered down the walls of limitation
And joined the loftiest of superteams.
The spirit in your fierce heart never cowers.
A taste for Justice League grants super powers.

 

Happy Birthday, 2017!

 

T.R.

Toe to Head

Toe to Head

 

 

Dear Cate:

I’m an admirer of your feet,
The ones that you display against the grass
Of fair Lothlórien. Your feet surpass
All other starlets’ feet: so slim, so neat,
So perfect! Over me their power’s complete.
They’re prettier by far, my Aussie lass,
Than the Black Widow’s gorgeous little ass
And I’m a guy who loves the female seat.
That’s why, my love, I have to say your brain
Has let me down. Your quip was in the news.
An Elven queen would have to go insane
Before she’d vent such twisted, orkish views.
O Cate, your Twittershit has caused me pain!
So hush your mouth – and take off both your shoes.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Actress Cate Blanchett issues vaginal statement.)

Feeling Down

Feeling Down

 

 

When the superman’s feeling inferior,
He looks into his super interior
And finds strength in the view.
He is better than you!
And to prove it, he’ll kick your posterior.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Avengers Disassembled

Avengers Disassembled

 

 

Joss Whedon called Avengers to assemble.
Clintonites ruled that Marvel superteam.
But did the threatened bad guy start to tremble?
Not in the least. He hardly stopped to deem
Their challenge worthy of response. A beam
From Iron Man’s amazing high-tech hand
Had no effect – and Hulk strength, it would seem,
Was feeble in the face of what was planned
By neurons so nefarious. Unmanned,
Captain America and even Thor
Tasted defeat they failed to understand.
Black Widow too, that pretty little whore,
Sat helpless on her all-attractive rump.
They’d been crushed by the supervillain Trump.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Joss Whedon’s failed ad for Hillary featured “Avengers” actors.)

Secret Identity

Secret Identity

 

 
There was once a young hero named Clark.
“I shall share my Kryptonian spark!”
he resolved as a lad.
“Revelation is bad,”
said his parents. “Keep folks in the dark!”

 

 

–Tom Riley

Evil Science

Evil Science

 

 

(for Jonathan Adams)

 

 

On track to be an evil scientist?
Jonathan Adams: that’s the way to go!
At Captain Superhuman shake a fist
linked to a brain that’s truly in the know.
He thinks that you’re an extra in his show–
so prove him wrong. Yes: him and all his kind!
Let him be famous only as your foe!
Crude matter must be governed by the mind.
Once this whole hero thing is redefined,
you’ll beat that big dumb boy scout black and blue.
He’ll have to play the bit part he’s assigned–
as long as you, in charge, allow him to.
Your final scheme will crush him like an ant.
Don’t let your critics tell you that you can’t.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Miracleman

Miracleman

 

 

His super-self is in another place.
He says the word “Kimota,” and it’s here,
beautiful, terrifying, and sincere
beyond our mortal tolerance. His face,
suffused with glory but preserved from grace,
shines with a light that pierces like a spear.
He will grow tired of all he now holds dear.
Why should he hug the useless human race?
Gargunza brought our hero into being–
and what at last, friends, did our hero do?
Emotions heated and vast mind agreeing,
he gathered his creator up and threw
the body earthward. What remains worth seeing?
A skull that might belong to me or you.

 

 

–Tom Riley