Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Timothy Stoll

Wokester

Wokester

Are you woke? Not as woke as Tim Stoll!
He is woke through the night, on the whole:
Finds it real hard to rest.
He can truly attest:
Being woke is a curse, not a goal.

–Tom Riley

Real Republican Work

Real Republican Work

 

What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
Behind the bar, she used to suck and twerk—
That’s all. It is a truth that merits shouting.
What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
The rules of evidence she’s crudely flouting.
Tim Stoll defines the essence of real work!
What is this nonsense AOC is spouting?
Behind the bar, she used to suck and twerk.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Black Republican Candidate Running Against AOC Exposed For ...

 

(Congresscunt AOC tries to steal #RealWork hashtag from Timothy Stoll.)

Jealous as a Bastard

Jealous as a Bastard

 

(for Stollers)

 

Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.
Like all the rest of us, you must admit
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.

You can’t resist this forceful mandate when
Your fate is in his fortune duly writ:
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.

Through Shaolin meditation (much like Zen),
He draws great stuff to where he deigns to sit.
You’re jealous as a bastard once again,

Aren’t you? Sure: breathing deeply, count to ten:
You’ll still be netted in a jealous fit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff! Citizen:

Lower than Stoll is where you’ve always been
Upon the totem pole. And now, you twit,
You’re jealous as a bastard once again!

Grinning with pride, he makes you shout amen
To his whole list of first-rate, bad-ass shit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen!
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Christmas and Easter Totem Poles by David K. Fison | The Jesus Question

Guy in the Ferrous Face-Covering

The Guy in the Ferrous Face-Covering

 

(for Tim Stoll)

 

Old classic tales must now be set aside,
Replaced by tales with greater relevance.
Thus, in response to up-to-date events,
I hammer out a tale transmogrified.
An unknown figure regularly spied:
On moonlit nights, he walks the battlements.
The mystery goes ever more immense.
Why? It’s because he has a lot to hide!
His face is covered with an iron shield—
A mask whose tendency is to inspire us
With puzzlement and dread that can’t be healed
Until we know the truth. Yes, we’re desirous
Of facts about the guy with face concealed!
Big let-down, though: he’s hiding from a virus.

 

–Tom Riley

 

The Man in the Iron Mask.jpg

Real Work Pays Off

Real Work Pays Off

 

(for Stollers)

 

Lazy jerks were offended.  “Screw you

With your talk of real work!  Get a clue!

For the hard words you say,

You will presently pay!”

But Tim Stoll had much better kung fu.

 

–Tom Riley

 

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Bruno’s Hero

Bruno’s Hero

Admiring Bruno gazes up at Tim.
A dad who does real work commands respect.
For real work there is no true synonym.
Admiring Bruno gazes up at Tim.
Ain’t no one as amazing, friends, as him—
And in him there is no flaw to detect.
Admiring Bruno gazes up at Tim.
A dad who does real work commands respect.

–Tom Riley

Real Work

Real Work

(for Stollers)

Get off your lazy ass, you big fat jerk!
This isn’t how America was made!
(Timothy Stoll is doing work. Real work.)

Clearly, you’re dripping with the urge to shirk.
At the word “job,” you’re suddenly afraid.
Get off your lazy ass, you big fat jerk!

You’re driving the industrious berserk!
Luckily, there’s a guy who makes the grade:
Timothy Stoll is doing work – real work!

You’re not impressed? Erase that stupid smirk!
We will not see such disrespect displayed!
Get off your lazy ass, you big fat jerk!

Your very sessile presence tends to irk.
Why are you now expecting to be paid?
Timothy Stoll is doing work. Real work!

He’s a true hero now, like Captain Kirk.
His standards have by you, though, been betrayed.
Get off your lazy ass, you big fat jerk!
Timothy Stoll is doing work. (Real work!)

–Tom Riley