Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Twitter

Mr. Shea’s Heroic Day

Mr. Shea’s Heroic Day

“As archetypal hero,” says Mark Shea,
“I myself am repelling Putin’s forces
At an amazing rate. Please shout hurray
As I knock jets and missiles off their courses!
I have the strength of twenty-seven horses
Here in my manly and attractive frame.
Zelensky unequivocally endorses
My efforts – and he celebrates my name!”
Okay. Shea hasn’t really said this. Shame
On me, the satirist who dares suggest
He has! But is it wilder than his claim
To be the arbiter of what is best
In troubling international relations—
Or worse than all his Twitter fulminations?

–Tom Riley

Too Stupid to Be a Hypocrite?

Too Stupid to Be a Hypocrite?

Shea is stupid. Of this there’s no doubt.
Stupid things he’s determined to shout—
Or to tweet. Never ends!
When the Judgment impends,
Will the plea, “I’m a fool,” help him out?

–Tom Riley

Note on the Text

I’m not on Facebook or Twitter anymore, so I don’t see the little verbal twitches that constitute Mark Shea’s reason for existence. But readers of this blog send me screen shots when they’re particularly incensed by his attacks on reason and common human decency. Two recent ones made me briefly consider that Shea might be a hypocrite, destined for the Eighth Circle of Hell according to Dante. But then I reconsidered. Maybe Shea doesn’t have the brains to be hypocritical.


The last shall be first and the first shall be last – so here’s the second tweet sent to me by a real Catholic:

Shea here is attacking Canada’s trucker convoy – at the very moment when Justin Trudeau was unleashing a totalitarian putsch against brave Canadian citizens trying to stand up to ridiculous mask and vaccine mandates. These mandates give Shea more of a thrill than his hypothetical rectal vibrator. I’ll delve into the details a little later. The main point is that comparing Trudeau’s totalitarian actions to Nazi totalitarian actions is not okay according to Shea.


Here’s the first tweet – posted a little over two weeks before:

The point here is that the GOP may take advantage of Brainless Joe Biden’s dementia displays to win the midterm elections – and they shouldn’t… because they’re Nazis!


The hypocrisy is pretty clear, right? In the mind of Shea, it’s plain crazy to compare Trudeau’s totalitarianism to Nazi totalitarianism, and it disqualifies you from being taken seriously the way Fat Boy needs to be taken seriously. Don’t be silly, you Canadian truckers! But it’s A-okay to compare the GOP in this country to Nazis, or even to say that they are Nazis. Indeed, in other venues, Shea has called the Canadian truckers themselves Nazis. There are very few ideological opponents that he hasn’t called Nazis.
Hypocritical rhetoric, yes?


The thing is, though, I’m beginning to doubt that Fat Boy can even see the self-contradiction. The two propositions – “It’s wrong to call your ideological opponents Nazis” and “Shea’s ideological opponents are Nazis” – loiter arm and arm in his skull, and he sees no conflict at all.


He may actually be that stupid.


I do need to note here that I don’t think Trudeau is a Nazi. He’s more of a Commie. But really he’s just a leftist globalist intent on a new brand of pansy tyranny.


Shea, of course, doesn’t really know anything about Nazi Germany – or about history in general. He once maintained that the only evidence for Julius Caesar’s conquest of Gaul was Caesar’s own self-promoting book. But Shea does like to pretend.


Note the reference to self-pity – a recent obsession of Shea’s, and an obvious function of projection. Shea once whined that he was “trying to say yes to God” and “widely hated” on that account. Boo-hoo.


Note furthermore the reference to spreading COVID. Fat Boy apparently still thinks that the COVID vaccines prevent transmission, though it’s been admitted since July of last year that they don’t. I myself caught COVID on Christmas Eve from a relative who had been fully vaccinated and boosted. Almost everyone else in the room caught it, too. I won’t cry about it, Shea fashion, because it wasn’t at all a big deal. I worked out for at least a half-hour every day that I had the disease. And I remain unvaccinated. Pope Francis, go collect your thirty pieces of silver from Chairman Xi.


Fat Boy might fear a different experience with COVID. Though we’re both the same age, he is… well… grossly obese. That makes him especially vulnerable.


And you all have to get the vaccine that doesn’t work or he’ll hold his breath and turn blue!

T.R.

Blessed Are the Twitter Beggars

Blessed Are the Twitter Beggars

“How shall I practice charity?” asks Shea.
“I’ll tweet requests that other folks pitch in!
A clever way to dodge expenses, eh?
How shall I practice charity?” asks Shea.
“I won’t part with a single cent today!
Frugality can never be a sin.
How shall I practice charity?” asks Shea.
“I’ll tweet requests that other folks pitch in!”

–Tom Riley

See the source image

Elite Attitude

Elite Attitude

“I have joined,” says Mark Shea, “the elites.
They admire all my sly leftist tweets.
I’m elite. See the signs:
Though I don’t drink fine wines,
I’m a glutton for higher-priced sweets!”

–Tom Riley

See the source image

Twittermouth

Twittermouth

 

Have you noticed
that loudmouths are even louder
when they’re tweeting?

 

–Tom Riley

 

Twitter

Pallida Mors

Pallida Mors

 

(in memoriam Rush Limbaugh)

 

Rush Limbaugh’s dead – and how they’re celebrating,
The pederasts and parasites online!
Rest in piss” is the phrase that’s circulating.
Some halfwit with a tapeworm for a spine
Came up with that – and others found it fine.
The thought crimes Rush committed were that vicious.
He spoiled the Ministry of Truth’s design
By telling truths that stunned the meretricious.
News of his death to many is delicious.
They savor it like condom flavoring.
Their curses are absurdly superstitious—
But will not cease. O Death, where is thy sting?
Are leftist assholes partying? Why, yes—
But that, Rush, is the proof of your success.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Brief Summary of the 2020 Presidential Election to Date

A Brief Summary of the 2020 Presidential Election to Date

 

Trump tweeted.
Biden cheated.

Coverage sucked.
Romney cucked.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Biden/Romney 2020: RINOs would be all in – GOPUSA

Eighty-Something

Eighty-Something

 

Ruthie died. In their eighties, folks do.
Those evading this standard are few.
By mortality clocked,
She is gone. Are you shocked?
Then at last you should go get a clue.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Reject

Reject

 

Becky’s novel – rejected? The light
Of our age kept unfairly from sight?
Publishers she critiques.
They’re a bunch of vile freaks
For perceiving that Becky can’t write!

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

 

 

 

Pod Person

Pod Person

 

More baseless self-importance, you dumb cunt.
Nobody wants to shelter in your pod.
Sounds like a punishment from Dante’s God,
A German’s winter on the Russian front,
Decapitation with a blade that’s blunt,
A long confinement with, say, Sweeney Todd—
Yes, all rolled into one. So is it odd
That no sane man would want to bear the brunt
Of your despised proximity? Go hide
All on your lonesome, keeping your vile shit
Up your chute, irretrievably inside
Forever! Such a course will be a hit
With all mankind. We’ll all be satisfied.
We’ll celebrate your absence, not your wit.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Poetastress RBW excludes folks from her “pandemic pod.”)