Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Ty Seidule

General Vacuity

General Vacuity

Riding the wave of bogus righteousness,
General Seidule displays his stuff:
Subservience to every stinking mess
Of ideology. Simplistic? Tough!
Of simplemindedness there’s not enough
According to the standards now embraced.
Spare him the other side and all that guff.
Some facts he loves – but others won’t be faced.
For Southern battle flags he has no taste—
And monuments he will not tolerate.
Let all those whom we honored be debased!
Adore the sick! Calumniate the great!
Hold hands with pansies! Piss upon brave men!
Seidule will not feel so gutless then.

–Tom Riley

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Battle-Hardened

Battle-Hardened

What battles has this scarecrow soldier won?
He gave our guys a woke curriculum!
What other liars failed to do, he’s done.
What battles has this scarecrow soldier won?
He doesn’t need to win no battles, son!
Your emphasis on such grows wearisome.
What battles has this scarecrow soldier won?
He gave our guys a woke curriculum!

–Tom Riley

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(Professional Lee detractor Ty Seidule is also senior editor of The West Point Guide to Gender and War.)

Preaching Dead

The Preaching Dead

General Corpse imagines he can live
Again – if Old Marse Robert dies again.
Vitality is porous as a sieve.
General Corpse imagines he can live
Anew – if in a crude way he can give
The mindless crowd a chance to say amen.
General Corpse imagines he can live
Again! (If Old Marse Robert dies again….)

–Tom Riley

Image result for ty seidule

Seidule the Great

Seidule the Great

Forget Lee! There’s a better commander.
To the Zeitgeist he’s eager to pander.
Who’s this glorious guy?
Why, it’s General Ty!
He’s a regular woke Alexander!

–Tom Riley

(Bust of Alexander, not of Siedule.)

Viral Video of Verity

The Viral Video of Verity

“It’s all simple!” says General Ty.
“It was slavery. All else is a lie.
On obscene power trips,
Southrons itched to crap whips!”
Answers woke Dennis Prager: “Aye, aye!”

–Tom Riley

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(West Point warrior achieves lifetime goal of viral video.)

Revenge of the Nerd

Revenge of the Nerd

How can this sissy general at last
Be victor in a battle fiercely fought?
True victory, of course, cannot be bought.
Achilles sprints. Thersites, far outclassed,
Would love to see the godlike hero passed,
Would love to see his greatness brought to naught.
But such an outcome, furiously sought,
Is never given to the candy-assed.
The only contest possible is bitching—
But even there there’s way too much to dread.
The hero might undo some bio-stitching
And paint the field with hemoglobin red!
That’s why the current option’s so bewitching:
Ty Seidule will bitch against the dead!

–Tom Riley

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My Anti-Hate Poem

My Anti-Hate Poem

Condemnation today is your fate,
Old Marse Robert. Creeps yearn to deflate
The vast legend you left—
But their grunts just lack heft.
Mediocrities all hate the great.

–Tom Riley

Image result for robert e lee and me

(Some guy named Ty Seidule condemns Robert E. Lee.)