Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Vladimir Putin

Rotten Heart

Rotten Heart

We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex
As we do now in science and in art.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he suggested sodomy’s not smart.
His bigotry the whole West now corrects.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex.

–Tom Riley

After This Murder

After This Murder

For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course
And put those Ukronazis on the rack!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back—
But there’s a time to go on the attack
Without restraint. Shirtless, spur on that horse!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course!

–Tom Riley

De Matribus Heroicis Federationis Russianae

De Matribus Heroicis Federationis Russianae

Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids.
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.
To loony boxes we have lost the lids.
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids—
While perverts over here are making bids
On boys dressed up as girls. Clear disconnects:
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids;
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.

–Tom Riley

Score!

Score!

Heroic Ukronazis scored a hit
By killing Comrade Dugin’s little girl.
Our NATO heroes, clearly, ordered it.
Into the cauldron, happily, we hurl
Women and children, emerald and pearl,
Whatever those who will not bow to us
Esteem and value. Rainbow Flags unfurl
To celebrate these victories – and thus
Our efforts are endorsed. Why make a fuss?
The unipolar world must be defended.
Dasha’s demise is far from ominous!
These bombs are what our paragons intended.
If Comrade Putin, though, responds in kind,
He’s brutal, evil, and of unsound mind.

–Tom Riley

Vladimir Putin, La-La-La

Vladimir Putin, La-La-La

Turks are in NATO, sure, but nonetheless
They chant the name of Putin with delight.
They recognize the West is one sad mess
And they are glad that Putin’s there to fight
The utter madness. Rhetoric takes flight
Against the man who rescued Russia – here.
But elsewhere in the world, they keep in sight
The virtues he’s displaying in his sphere.
Mockery from the West expresses fear—
And nothing more. Yes, let them be afraid!
All that the twisted empire now holds dear
Should be, for its perversity, unmade.
Putin is elevated through complaint—
A hero to the Turks, if not a saint.

–Tom Riley

Body by A.K.

Body by A.K.

“They said that I was dying – and they sneered.
Then Andrew Kersting gave me workout tips.
Now, once again, I’m someone to be feared:
You see it in their eyes and trembling lips.
They brag that they’ve been sinking Russian ships
But, when the shirt comes off, they shrink away.
To calm their nerves, they may take little sips
Of liquor. Their belligerence is gay.
Banderites we defeat day after day.
With my own hand, I’ve judo-chopped a lot.
Where is the champion of the CIA?
He’ll soon be showing up to face me – not!
Da! I shall silence all their lies and jokes—
Thanks to the Andrew Kersting Method, folks!”

–Tom Riley

(CIA director says Putin is, if anything, too healthy.)

Star of the Show

Star of the Show

Lloyd Austin wants you, soldier boy, to know
That gender bullshit isn’t shit at all:
It’s science. Ready for the donkey show?
You will not be the donkey, please recall:
You will not be the one to have a ball
Or even watch remote from donkey dick.
Up on Lloyd Austin’s stage, you’ll writhe and crawl.
Even if you’re a hunk, you’ll be the chick.
When Austin tells you to, you’ll turn the trick
That’s scheduled – and sincerely like it, too!
You can’t object that progress here is sick.
That is what backward types like Putin do!
Accept your country’s standards, now in style—
And keep in mind: we want to see that smile!

–Tom Riley

Zelensky’s Friendship

Zelensky’s Friendship

Hey, soldier! When you have your tranny shower,
Perhaps our ally, brave Volodymyr,
Will slip in close to you. You’ll feel his power
Radiate – but you’ll have no cause for fear.
Remember: you are fighting for the queer
Nowadays – and for gender liberation.
Those have become our highest values here
As it perdures, the noble Yankee nation.
Putin may make a macho demonstration
Of judo skill – but such is not your task.
You must accept our worldview’s penetration,
Be boosted frequently, and wear a mask.
This is the price you’ll pay – but, lad, it’s cheap:
Zelensky’s friendship won’t go very deep.

–Tom Riley

NATO Gambit

The NATO Gambit

Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.
Is there true safety on suburban lawns?
Washington moves its European pawns.
Zelensky frowns. Our class of pundits fawns.
To face reality we do not care.
Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.

–Tom Riley

Sick Perceptions

Sick Perceptions

Putin’s sick, Western experts all say.
Putin’s sick, and he’ll soon go away.
Putin’s sick. When he’s gone,
It’ll be a new dawn!
Putin’s sick – but Joe Biden’s okay.

–Tom Riley