Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Vladimir Putin

Bunch of Regular Guys

A Bunch of Regular Guys

But Wagner didn’t do it all alone.
Regulars of the Russian Federation
Were heroes, too – and, in the danger zone
Triumphant, wreaking utter devastation
Upon the Ukronazis whom that pest
Zelensky played like pawns. His NATO bosses
Thought that his idiotic plan was best—
And so the Ukies took tremendous losses.
In spite of all the smoke that CIA
Imbeciles blow, the Russian cause advances—
While leaders of the West, far, far away,
Continue to adopt unyielding stances.
If Putin could take D.C., district squalid,
I think he would be doing us a solid.

–Tom Riley

Pravda

Pravda

Putin fell down the stairs and shit his pants!
Our confidential sources say it’s true!
Do propaganda narratives advance
Beyond the reach of rational review?
You ain’t heard nothin’ yet! This story too
Is spreading: Putin’s actually possessed
By 15,000 devils, who on cue
Direct him to give humankind no rest.
What’s more, his captured agents have confessed
That he’s an alien from outer space.
When ships abduct the girls who look the best,
They serve these up to Vlad. Such is the case.
Objections to these proven facts are few.
Our confidential sources say they’re true!

–Tom Riley

Unworshipped Idol

Unworshipped Idol

It’s Zelensky we labor to please
In the West. Putin: down on your knees!
So… you dare to defy
This our deified guy?
“Winter’s coming – and Europe will freeze.”

–Tom Riley

Advances

Advances

Has Ukraine made advances? Hurray!
That’s the end of the war: so we say.
Thus already we boast:
Putin’s finished! He’s toast!
(Russia might not admit this today.)

–Tom Riley

(Russian soldier celebrating victory in the Great Patriotic War.)

How to Beat Russian Orcs after Goatfuckers Give You Swirlies

How to Beat Russian Orcs after Goatfuckers Give You Swirlies

Fag generals who took it up the ass
In far Afghanistan grow critical.
The Russian military cannot pass
Their tests. Those Russky orcs are terrible
At soldiering – whereas the wonderful
Ukrainians are trained by us to show
Respect for every gender and give skull
To every tranny officer they know.
It isn’t how you fight: it’s whom you blow!
Austin and Milley promulgate this rule—
For Pentagonians would have it so.
Wokeness is not a waste: it’s super cool!
Cisgendered males are nowadays old news.
That is why Putin’s men are sure to lose.

–Tom Riley

Rotten Heart

Rotten Heart

We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex
As we do now in science and in art.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he suggested sodomy’s not smart.
His bigotry the whole West now corrects.
We knew that Putin had a rotten heart
When he declined to celebrate gay sex.

–Tom Riley

After This Murder

After This Murder

For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course
And put those Ukronazis on the rack!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back—
But there’s a time to go on the attack
Without restraint. Shirtless, spur on that horse!
For months now, Comrade Putin, you’ve held back.
After this murder, though, please alter course!

–Tom Riley

De Matribus Heroicis Federationis Russianae

De Matribus Heroicis Federationis Russianae

Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids.
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.
To loony boxes we have lost the lids.
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids—
While perverts over here are making bids
On boys dressed up as girls. Clear disconnects:
Putin’s rewarding moms for having kids;
Back here, we’re hot to change our children’s sex.

–Tom Riley

Score!

Score!

Heroic Ukronazis scored a hit
By killing Comrade Dugin’s little girl.
Our NATO heroes, clearly, ordered it.
Into the cauldron, happily, we hurl
Women and children, emerald and pearl,
Whatever those who will not bow to us
Esteem and value. Rainbow Flags unfurl
To celebrate these victories – and thus
Our efforts are endorsed. Why make a fuss?
The unipolar world must be defended.
Dasha’s demise is far from ominous!
These bombs are what our paragons intended.
If Comrade Putin, though, responds in kind,
He’s brutal, evil, and of unsound mind.

–Tom Riley

Vladimir Putin, La-La-La

Vladimir Putin, La-La-La

Turks are in NATO, sure, but nonetheless
They chant the name of Putin with delight.
They recognize the West is one sad mess
And they are glad that Putin’s there to fight
The utter madness. Rhetoric takes flight
Against the man who rescued Russia – here.
But elsewhere in the world, they keep in sight
The virtues he’s displaying in his sphere.
Mockery from the West expresses fear—
And nothing more. Yes, let them be afraid!
All that the twisted empire now holds dear
Should be, for its perversity, unmade.
Putin is elevated through complaint—
A hero to the Turks, if not a saint.

–Tom Riley