Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: vodka

Old Marse Robert Samples Aleksandr Dugin’s Vodka and Finds It Good

Old Marse Robert Samples Aleksandr Dugin’s Vodka and Finds It Good

“Aggressive abroad and despotic at home.”

The unipolar world is at an end—
Which suits me fine. The Yankees went too far,
As Yankees always go. Now they descend.
I’m watching their imaginary star
Plummet. The tortured earth it’s sure to scar
Again – a sort of global spouse abuse.
But keep the victim handcuffed? No cigar.
Expecting that, the Yankees prove obtuse
Beyond their former measure. Fast and loose
They’ve played since 1860. For a while,
It served them well. But now, neck in the noose,
Their empire will be throttled, and in style.
And all of the disasters that we see?
Predicted by the Last of Heroes, Lee.

–Tom Riley

Judgment Juice

Judgment Juice

 

 

(for Téa Marie Erickson)

 

 

The lousy movie that you plan to view

Is way too bad to yield to simple wine.

You need far stronger stuff to render you

Immune to crap and bitch-slap into line

Your judgment – so you babble, “Hey, it’sh fine,”

When sober viewers rally and object.

Vodka, perhaps, might manage that design—

But I, my dear, am of the whiskey sect.

Jameson is sufficient to correct

All of the sense that you can bring to bear

Against The Hobbit’s defects.  You’ll defect

From rationality and cease to care

About the idiocy in that flick.

Drink fiercely and the film won’t make you sick.

 

 

 

–Tom Riley

Affianced

The Affianced

 

 

 

 

(for Margaret Cortright)

 

 

 

 

Prominent headline: she’s engaged to marry.

Here end so many heartfelt aspirations!

So many dreams are guys obliged to bury!

We little realize the complications.

Girlfriends may offer bright congratulations—

But tongue-tied guys who’ve proved a bit too shy

Imagine horrible self-immolations

That fill with smoke a dark and dismal sky.

The bulk of them will turn to Scotch and rye,

To bourbon and to vodka, for a place

Of dull forgetfulness where they can try

Not to be haunted by her gorgeous face.

Those who run bars rejoice to hear the news:

Now they’ll be selling twenty times the booze!

 

 

 

 

 

–Tom Riley