Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Volodymyr Zelensky

Short and Round

Short and Round

Has anybody noticed that he’s short
And round, this NATO hero of the hour
To whom our global leaders all pay court?
Has anybody noticed that he’s short—
And, in his t-shirt, of the sweaty sort,
This seamy guy who over all must tower?
Has anybody noticed that he’s short
And round, this NATO hero of the hour?

–Tom Riley

Very Funny

Very Funny

The comedian, miserable cuss,
Rules the land of Ukraine now – and thus
There arises a rumor:
He’s a guy we must humor.
If he laughs, then the joke is on us.

–Tom Riley

Bunch of Regular Guys

A Bunch of Regular Guys

But Wagner didn’t do it all alone.
Regulars of the Russian Federation
Were heroes, too – and, in the danger zone
Triumphant, wreaking utter devastation
Upon the Ukronazis whom that pest
Zelensky played like pawns. His NATO bosses
Thought that his idiotic plan was best—
And so the Ukies took tremendous losses.
In spite of all the smoke that CIA
Imbeciles blow, the Russian cause advances—
While leaders of the West, far, far away,
Continue to adopt unyielding stances.
If Putin could take D.C., district squalid,
I think he would be doing us a solid.

–Tom Riley

Not a Boob

Not a Boob

Zelensky’s not the boob that some suppose.
Don’t judge him by the shirt he never changes!
What clever leaders know, Zelensky knows.
Through many disciplines his knowledge ranges—
And wise men far and wide are on his side:
To Russians they extend no toleration.
This clear advantage cannot be denied.
It augments his insightful cogitation.
To call him boob is far beyond the pale.
Let that abusive word now be discarded!
He is our global hero, folks: all hail!
He isn’t talking shit. He’s barely farted!
He’s not a boob, his allies all agree.
Nevertheless, he plays one on TV.

–Tom Riley

(This little sonnet first appeared as a comment at Awful Avalanche, where blogs the astoundingly perceptive Yalensis.)

Unworshipped Idol

Unworshipped Idol

It’s Zelensky we labor to please
In the West. Putin: down on your knees!
So… you dare to defy
This our deified guy?
“Winter’s coming – and Europe will freeze.”

–Tom Riley

Word to the Wise

Word to the Wise

Remember: when Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.
He will not be their first assassinated,
Remember? When Zelensky’s terminated,
Ignore the talking points that will be stated
Unceasingly. Such noise grows wearisome!
Remember! When Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.

–Tom Riley

Zelensky’s Friendship

Zelensky’s Friendship

Hey, soldier! When you have your tranny shower,
Perhaps our ally, brave Volodymyr,
Will slip in close to you. You’ll feel his power
Radiate – but you’ll have no cause for fear.
Remember: you are fighting for the queer
Nowadays – and for gender liberation.
Those have become our highest values here
As it perdures, the noble Yankee nation.
Putin may make a macho demonstration
Of judo skill – but such is not your task.
You must accept our worldview’s penetration,
Be boosted frequently, and wear a mask.
This is the price you’ll pay – but, lad, it’s cheap:
Zelensky’s friendship won’t go very deep.

–Tom Riley

NATO Gambit

The NATO Gambit

Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.
Is there true safety on suburban lawns?
Washington moves its European pawns.
Zelensky frowns. Our class of pundits fawns.
To face reality we do not care.
Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.

–Tom Riley

Evacuated to the Enemy

Evacuated to the Enemy

The Ukronazis got evacuated
All the way into Russian custody.
A triumph – as Ukraine has clearly stated!
The Ukronazis got evacuated!
The truth in such reports is what is hated.
How obvious can all these liars be?
The Ukronazis got evacuated—
All the way into Russian custody.

–Tom Riley

Lie with Ukraine

Lie with Ukraine

Ukie gal wrecked the home of her hosts.
Former loyalties faded like ghosts.
Propagandized – alas!—
Husband chased younger ass
As Zelensky repeated vain boasts.

–Tom Riley