Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tag: Volodymyr Zelensky

Word to the Wise

Word to the Wise

Remember: when Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.
He will not be their first assassinated,
Remember? When Zelensky’s terminated,
Ignore the talking points that will be stated
Unceasingly. Such noise grows wearisome!
Remember! When Zelensky’s terminated,
It’s the Americans who did it, chum.

–Tom Riley

Zelensky’s Friendship

Zelensky’s Friendship

Hey, soldier! When you have your tranny shower,
Perhaps our ally, brave Volodymyr,
Will slip in close to you. You’ll feel his power
Radiate – but you’ll have no cause for fear.
Remember: you are fighting for the queer
Nowadays – and for gender liberation.
Those have become our highest values here
As it perdures, the noble Yankee nation.
Putin may make a macho demonstration
Of judo skill – but such is not your task.
You must accept our worldview’s penetration,
Be boosted frequently, and wear a mask.
This is the price you’ll pay – but, lad, it’s cheap:
Zelensky’s friendship won’t go very deep.

–Tom Riley

NATO Gambit

The NATO Gambit

Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.
Is there true safety on suburban lawns?
Washington moves its European pawns.
Zelensky frowns. Our class of pundits fawns.
To face reality we do not care.
Washington moves its European pawns.
Putin has castled, bringing rooks to bear.

–Tom Riley

Evacuated to the Enemy

Evacuated to the Enemy

The Ukronazis got evacuated
All the way into Russian custody.
A triumph – as Ukraine has clearly stated!
The Ukronazis got evacuated!
The truth in such reports is what is hated.
How obvious can all these liars be?
The Ukronazis got evacuated—
All the way into Russian custody.

–Tom Riley

Lie with Ukraine

Lie with Ukraine

Ukie gal wrecked the home of her hosts.
Former loyalties faded like ghosts.
Propagandized – alas!—
Husband chased younger ass
As Zelensky repeated vain boasts.

–Tom Riley

Unity of Purpose

Unity of Purpose

Leftists and neo-cons march arm-in-arm
Against what Mother Russia seeks to do.
Mark Levin yields to Biden’s goofy charm,
And Victor Davis Hanson giggles, too.
Volodymyr’s a hero: get a clue!
His tranny status only makes him cuter.
His distance makes our right-wing figures blue.
They wish he’d be a close, attentive suitor.
Instead, his intellect, like a computer,
Evaluates logistics with precision.
Toward glory he is racing on a scooter
Powered by courage, principle, and vision.
Neo-con hearts back here go pitter-patter.
Stand with Ukraine, you know. What else could matter?

–Tom Riley

Volodymyr’s Genius Plan

Volodymyr’s Genius Plan

Zelensky has his cronies in the West.
When all the pawns upon the board are scattered,
His current recklessness will be professed
From luxury, as if it truly mattered.
He’ll likely find a place in Hollywood
And thus advance the cause of U.S. trannies.
Media adulation will seem good—
As will the sight of round and well-toned fannies.
He’ll join the set that never has to pay
For idiotic and absurd offenses.
Pursuing fresh ambitions that bright day,
He will not mind his former moods and tenses.
Ukraine will be a mess, but he’ll be fine.
I’d say he’s shaped a pretty slick design.

–Tom Riley

Color Vexillorum

Color Vexillorum

So many blue and yellow flags!
But which way’s up and which way’s down?
Zelensky fiercely begs and brags.
So many blue and yellow flags!
Soon we’ll instead behold white rags—
But that will not undo the clown.
So? Many blue and yellow flags?
But which way’s up? And which way’s down?

–Tom Riley

Papal Visit

Papal Visit

What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?
Hey, Jimmy Martin wants to come along!
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

The pope and Jimmy needn’t wish in vain
For such relief: the urge is way too strong.
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine

Would bring broad smiles, alleviate much pain?
The pope declines to judge such judgment wrong.
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

The boys of storied Kyiv will not disdain
A private party. Pope could rent a bong!
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?

Crossdressers there just love to entertain!
The pope would gain the vigor of King Kong.
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

Objections only come from the insane.
Moral theology? A boring song.
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

–Tom Riley

In Line

In Line

R. Emmett Tyrrell needs us all in line.
Conservatives must back the tranny leader
Of NATO pawn Ukraine. Guys, get a spine!
The queerer that a hero is, the sweeter
Supporting him will be. His dance in heels
Was anyhow a mere comedic matter.
As he comes up with more and smoother spiels,
He’ll win you over with his macho patter.
And, anyhow, a war – most any war—
Ought to give right-wing guys a huge erection.
What else are our armed forces even for?
In conflict only do we find perfection.
Not to assist this actor is a crime.
He is, at last, the Churchill of our time.

–Tom Riley