Cocksucker Coinage
“Loutocracy” is George Will’s latest word.
The mouthy motherfucker sucks at Greek.
Dear Anglophonic world, you may have heard:
“Loutocracy” is George Will’s latest word.
He dreamt of sounding smart – and it occurred
To him like magic. What a silly freak!
“Loutocracy” is George Will’s latest word.
The mouthy motherfucker sucks at Greek.
–Tom Riley
It All Depends
Everything depends on
your choices – but nothing depends
on your intentions.
–Tom Riley
George Will Is Duckin’ Me!
Of all the public figures I have itched
To give a beating thorough, hard, and true
After they’ve written bullshit, preached, and bitched,
The one I hate the most, George Will, is you.
And, since my fifteenth birthday, forty-two
Long years ago, you pansy of the Right,
I have been equal to the task: a crew
Of you could hardly offer any fight.
I see you and am nauseous at the sight.
I hear you and am sickened by the sound.
This is wise judgment, not just seething spite.
Occasions for condemning you abound—
And in my heart contempt and hatred quicken.
So are you having any? Knew it. Chicken!
–Tom Riley
Eyelids Grow Heavy
After sleep came,
he boldly dreamt that he
was staying watchful.
–Tom Riley
Justice of a Sort
They kissed Trump’s feet, and now he yanks their chains.
I guess that’s really justice – of a sort.
Having surrendered spines and hearts and brains,
They kissed Trump’s feet – and now he yanks their chains
Confidently. They well deserve their pains
And judgment later in a higher court.
They kissed Trump’s feet – and now? He yanks their chains!
I guess that’s really justice of a sort.
–Tom Riley
It Ain’t All Bad
I’m not too happy nowadays with Trump—
But do like seeing Euro-leaders piss
Their pants. Ha! Every one of them’s a chump
Today! With very little artifice,
Trump gets them turned around and then kicks rump
After embarrassed rump. He doesn’t miss.
Crazier than a chimp that’s wild with rage,
He beats up Euro-babblers half his age.
–Tom Riley
Thaumaturge
The wonder-worker Jesus had to die.
What happened afterward made ages wonder
About the stunning what, the puzzling why.
The wonder-worker? Jesus? Had to die!
In Egypt, he learned young to mystify.
Exalted, he exerts transcendent thunder.
The wonder-worker Jesus had to die:
What happened afterward made ages wonder.
–Tom Riley
No Booze Today
No booze today, I’ve loftily decided.
I’ll celebrate my virtue with a drink.
In my own soul I’ve carefully confided:
No booze today! I’ve loftily decided
That, though by drunkards I may be derided,
I’ll hold fast to my rule and never blink.
No booze today, I’ve loftily decided.
I’ll celebrate my virtue with a drink!
–Tom Riley
The Temporal Snake Swallows Its Own Tail
If only it
were eternity making these demands
on my time!
–Tom Riley
Zen Bongino
Before Trump administration,
Dan Bongino talking loud.
During Trump administration,
Dan Bongino going limp.
After Trump administration,
Dan Bongino talking even louder.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 