Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Johnny Turns a Trick

Johnny Turns a Trick

 

McCain just got a medal from Joe—
Then let all of his windy words blow
Through the air of convention.
I shall pay no attention.
He’s a loser — and also a ho.

 

—Tom Riley

 

(McCain receives leftist “Liberty Medal.”)

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Now That’s Deep!

Now That’s Deep!

 

“Out in those churning waves, the Deep Ones dwell.”
“You yourself, mister, have the Innsmouth look.”
“It is a notion I cannot dispel:
Out in those churning waves, the Deep Ones dwell.
Their glories are too wonderful to tell!”
“They’re pretty fucking creepy in my book.”
“Out in those churning waves, the Deep Ones dwell!”
“You yourself, mister, have the Innsmouth look.”

 

—Tom Riley

Serious Actress with Offbeat Good Looks

A Serious Actress with Offbeat Good Looks

 

Don’t be dark! Meryl Streep didn’t know
About Harvey. She’s frightfully slow
On the uptake: no lie!
Of a full deck she’s shy.
She’s a serious gal even so.

 

—Tom Riley

Something Completely Different

Something Completely Different

 

Stephen King likes to end books with fire.
Though of this trick his fans do not tire,
Restless artists like Steve
Seek new heights to achieve.
To a flood he may someday aspire.

 

—Tom Riley

Bloody Bore

Bloody Bore

 

Mr. Lovecraft found vampires a bore.
Bookshelves held far too much of a store
Of those bloodsucking nerds—
A complete waste of words!
Better Deep Ones who watched just offshore.

 

—Tom Riley

Raven (by Basho)

The Raven (by Basho)

 

december midnight.
black feathers in cold chamber.
where is lost lenore?

 

—Tom Riley

La Papo de Sinjoro Soros

La Papo de Sinjoro Soros

 

Mr. Soros, I’m weary — and numb.
You installed a pope. Many a bum
In the past has done that.
Such corruption’s old hat.
Why install, though, a puppet so dumb?

 

—Tom Riley

Joy of the Gospel

Joy of the Gospel

 

“Quicumque effuderit humanum sanguinem fundetur sanguis illius ad imaginem quippe Dei factus est homo.”

 

The simple message of the Scriptures, eh?
The imbecilic pope ignores that, too.
He finds he doesn’t need to have a clue.
He’s pope, you know. He speaks — and you obey!
He always has an awful lot to say—
And every syllable is good and true.
He means to make the Christian world anew.
It will not be the church of yesterday.
Ho, hum. And age of mindless degradation
Embraces just such leaders: no surprise.
I yawn at his most recent peroration.
His lies, I find, are never studied lies—
And hardly ever call for refutation.
I wish he wore a cagier disguise.

 

—Tom Riley

Deposit of Faith

Deposit of Faith

 

Augustine and Aquinas thought and wrote.
Pope Francis grinned and cast that crap aside.
Boneheaded thoughtlessness secured his vote.
Augustine and Aquinas thought and wrote—
And ages of interpreters took note.
Pope Francis belched and drooled, self-satisfied.
Augustine and Aquinas thought and wrote.
Pope Francis grinned and cast that crap aside.

 

—Tom Riley

Inconsistency

Inconsistency

 

Putting killers to death? Hey, that’s bad!
Putting babies to death? May be sad
In the view of the pope—
But with that he can cope.
It’ll pass soon, this right-to-life fad.

 

—Tom Riley