Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Failed Threesome

Failed Threesome

 

Comey’s getting it on with Colbert
Right in public! It just isn’t fair
That this rich celebration
Lacks its first inspiration—
That the pansy Barack can’t be there.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Comey and Colbert enjoy love fest.)

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Diminished Returns

Diminished Returns

 

Does Pope Francis upset and offend?
Well, he used to. The way he’d descend
Gave us nightmares till dawn.
Nowadays we just yawn
When he chats with his atheist friend.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Vatican denies that Francis denied the existence of Hell.)

Just a Bit

Just a Bit

 

James Comey studying the Trumpster’s skin:
Isn’t this just a bit homoerotic?
What bathhouse did you think that you were in,
James Comey? Studying the Trumpster’s skin
Would introduce a game you couldn’t win.
Your hidden self, it’s clear, has grown despotic.
James Comey studying the Trumpster’s skin:
Isn’t this just a bit homoerotic?

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Comey’s book reports close examination of President Trump’s skin.)

Mob Boss

Mob Boss

 

Oh, that’s it! Don Trompini runs a crew
Of gangsters. Hero Comey’s on their asses.
Those who can deal with Comey’s height are few—
And none can stand against jujutsu classes
He starred in at the Bureau. He surpasses
All other agents in his James Bond cool.
And now he’s making public to the masses
His battle with that Don Trompini fool.
And we’re supposed to buy this crap? A pool
Of obfuscation, painfully transparent,
This is a book in which the author’s drool
Is omnipresent – and his judgment errant.
A mob boss, huh? Well, Comey’s scared for certain.
Now Comey, you go hide behind that curtain!

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Oversized metro twit James Comey compares Trump to mob boss.)

Froggy Future

Froggy Future

 

In a discarded

coffee can, dozens of polliwogs:

haiku to come.

 

–Tom Riley

Weary of Verse

Weary of Verse

 

Do I ever grow weary of verse?
Oh, I do! When you daily immerse
Stubborn senses in rhyme,
It hurts much of the time.
But I go right ahead. That’s my curse.

 

–Tom Riley

Road Warrior

Road Warrior

 

I heard the mighty Shea was on the road.
Some roads, of course aren’t rated for such weight.
But he will venture forth at any rate—
And hope our continent can bear the load.
Like silly, self-indulgent Mr. Toad,
He offers doggerel meant to inflate
His hollow reputation. “Shea is great!”
En route, his puffery may well explode.
So watch out, folks! A brand new mobile threat
Now menaces your treasured peace of mind.
It’s not my purpose here to make you fret,
But, when Shea passes, you should not be blind
To such a source of limitless regret.
For Shea’s proximity we weren’t designed.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea hits the road.)

Unshaken Loyalty

Unshaken Loyalty

 

“I gave up once on whiskey.” “I see
What you’re drinking there, though, isn’t tea.”
“You have seized on that clue!
I gave up, it is true.
Whiskey, though, never gave up on me.”

 

–Tom Riley

Senatorial Reunion

Senatorial Reunion

 

McCain will join his buddy Kennedy
Sooner than he would ever like to say.
The cancer, folks, is channering away.
McCain’s place now is not the place to be.
That’s nature – and the angels all agree
It’s neutral. Oncogenesis is gray,
Not black or white. It simply doesn’t play
The games of ethics and morality.
The devils smile to hear the news. Of course,
There is no cause at this point for debating
In voices either musical or hoarse.
The prisoner already has his rating.
Hell’s gravity exerts a frightful force—
And, at its bottom, Kennedy is waiting.

 

–Tom Riley

McCain Report

The McCain Report

 

John McCain’s speaking out. Oh, the sass!
He has rarely been noted for class.
I’m amazed now to view it.
How on earth does he do it—
With his tongue up Chuck Schumer’s punk ass?

 

–Tom Riley