Genius Plan of an Exalted Drag Queen

Genius Plan of an Exalted Drag Queen

Zelensky has a genius plan for peace.
He’ll give an ultimatum. Yes, he will!
His pudgy self-importance will not cease
Just because Russia’s kicking ass. His skill
At never facing facts will save him still
From the incursion of reality.
His idiotic verbiage will spill
Unchecked from lips that work incessantly.
Of course, his unrelenting plan will be
Rejected by the Russians – who advance
While weary Ukronazis turn and flee.
As leather queen, Zelensky yet will dance:
His love for wild delusion is that strong.
Plus, nations of the West will dance along.

–Tom Riley

Opposite Poles

Opposite Poles

In Poland, things are changing for the better
Thanks to the influence that we exert.
Trannies are safer now, and panties wetter.
The Crucifix is stomped into the dirt,
No longer to alarm nor yet to hurt
The boyz and gurlz of LGBTQ.
Toward Christ no more will Polish eyes advert.
Salvation will no more those souls pursue.
It’s pleasure, pleasure, pleasure now. Yoo-hoo
There, sailor! Though in Russia you’d find pain,
Here you’ll find loads of oral. Anal too!
Christian perceptions we have ruled insane.
We have embraced the drag queen and the clown.
The Son of God must thus be taken down.

–Tom Riley

The Worm at the Heart of the Empire

The Worm at the Heart of the Empire

They took the statues down, renamed the bases.
Now gender reassignment is the cause
That’s in their leaders’ ultimate good graces.
The woke worm will decide, folks, where it gnaws.
Perhaps it once assailed some unjust laws.
That was an arbitrary taste – and brief.
The bones of great men now are in its jaws,
And common decency grants no relief.
The liar and the pervert and the thief
Are models that the culture now promotes.
The Yankee Empire thus will come to grief
Even as the deracinatrix gloats.
The world will yield to neo-righteous chat,
You’re telling me? Oh, sure. Good luck with that.

–Tom Riley

(News from West Point: General Lee out, transgender graduates in!)

Staggering Loss of Credibility

A Staggering Loss of Credibility

Some Hohol prick who has a scrawny neck—
We’re talking Gavin Newsom scrawny here—
Is done with moderation. What the heck!
Past the absurd extremes, you guys, why steer?
He says, while sounding perfectly sincere,
That Russia’s lost a half a million men
While fighting NATO and that pudgy queer
Zelensky. Hey, the West agrees! Amen!
Ha! Why are NATO’s proxies fleeing then
Like bunnies all across the fucking front?
Repeat your lies again and yet again:
It doesn’t make them plausible, you cunt.
Go back to writing uninspired free verse.
If I hear more from you, I’ll give you worse.

–Tom Riley

(Dig that scrawny neck!)

Peterson Prohibition

Peterson Prohibition

“Must ban alcohol!” Jordan declares.
Thus he merits incredulous stares.
Let it not be denied:
Such a scheme has been tried.
Time to send that brain in for repairs.

–Tom Riley

Individuality

Individuality

“Ah, the way I was born I forgot
Long ago! Recollection is rot!
Nature needs a good fisting!
I myself am insisting
On my right to become what I’m not.”

–Tom Riley

Tolkien Didn’t Like Dune?

Tolkien Didn’t Like Dune?

From the later
volumes, it’s clear Herbert didn’t
like Dune, either.

–Tom Riley

Dead Demerits

Dead Demerits

“You neglected procedure,” he said.
“By your error your being was led
To this unrelieved night.”
Though of course he was right,
Was it wise to speak thus to the dead?

–Tom Riley

Sins You Don’t Need to Confess

Sins You Don’t Need to Confess

Have you screwed the wrong person in dreams
Or proceeded to other extremes
That I dare not narrate?
In an unconscious state,
That is no more a crime than it seems.

–Tom Riley

Bosses

Bosses

“We’re not discouraged,” NATO bosses boast.
“We’ll sacrifice Ukrainians all year
And worry less than over, say, burnt toast.
We’re not discouraged.” NATO bosses boast
Habitually. They mean it, too – almost.
How you can flourish if you fake sincere!
“We’re not discouraged!” NATO bosses boast.
“We’ll sacrifice Ukrainians all year!”

–Tom Riley