Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Tenet of Faucism

A Tenet of Faucism

Fauci did torture puppies, it’s true.
Plus, he lies till he turns a bright blue.
He most likely sucks cock.
But he’s still our top doc—
And, if you don’t do homage, fuck you!

–Tom Riley

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On the Failure of the Rittenhouse Prosecution

On the Failure of the Rittenhouse Prosecution

The lesson isn’t black and wicked white.
The lesson is that they’ll charge anybody
When the hysteria achieves its height.
The lesson isn’t black and wicked white.
It isn’t even left and racist right.
The law itself is deep and dark and muddy.
The lesson isn’t black and wicked white.
The lesson is that they’ll charge anybody.

–Tom Riley

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Sadness of Stephen

The Sadness of Stephen

Kid acquitted – and Colbert is sad.
Self-defense is of course really bad
When the creeps of the Left,
Of all conscience bereft,
Spot a youngster and go murder mad.

–Tom Riley

Kyle Rittenhouse and Stephen Colbert

Cheneygasmic!

Cheneygasmic!

Unlike Kamala, Liz sucks no cock.
Up her ass she feels no phallic shock.
Is there joy on her face?
She’s betraying the base!
This alone makes her shudder: “Let’s rock!”

–Tom Riley

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Bountiful Lard Mutters

Bountiful Lard Mutters

Who’s backing Black Lives Matter? Mark P. Shea!
He’ll back them just as long as they’re in style.
You claim his motivations here are vile?
That’s something that you’re not allowed to say!
Shea is the foremost prophet of our day.
His insights are not subject to denial.
His holy channel rocks! Don’t touch that dial!
His virtue signals ain’t just vain display.
But back to Black Lives Matter. Hey, they’re cool—
And therefore for Mark Shea a perfect fit.
He judges you a damned and hopeless fool
If you do not agree, you skinny twit!
Black lives are due for Christianoid renewal.
They need a Fat White Savior – and he’s it.

–Tom Riley

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Double Down

Double Down

Double down on the lies that you told,
All you pundits! The stories you sold
Cost the whole country dearly.
Now for Rittenhouse, clearly,
They are mines full of silver and gold.

–Tom Riley

Just the Type

Just the Type

Rosenbaum was the type those riots drew—
A child molester, and of course sheer scum.
He rushed with boundless zeal to join the crew
Of troublemakers – worse, perhaps, than some
But not as bad as others. Rule of thumb:
If it makes punks like this feel virtuous,
And puffs with pride a crowd whose souls are numb,
The cause is fouler than a pool of pus.
The incident was not reported thus.
The pervert Rosenbaum was elevated
To Media Olympus – and a fuss
Ensued when he was rightly ventilated.
I’m told to mourn by multitudes of cunts.
Too bad the kid could only kill him once.

–Tom Riley

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Seeking a Sign

Seeking a Sign

“Generatio mala et adultera signum quaerit et signum non dabitur.”

Where’s the sign
that my offer of thanks
has been accepted?

–Tom Riley

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Mighty Skateboard

Mighty Skateboard

Did Huber swing his mighty skateboard hard?
Was he a warrior of justice then?
Often the course of heroes is ill-starred.
Often, though frank admirers cry amen,
Things don’t go swimmingly. Unready when
The gods grow jealous of his qualities,
The hero is slapped down to earth again.
There are a lot of myths, my friend, like these.
But every sage who’s glanced his way agrees
That Huber ain’t no hero in this mold.
Huber, as great as great Achilles? Please!
Before the court, a truer tale was told.
That bitch just didn’t have the proper stuff.
He swung his skateboard – not quite hard enough.

–Tom Riley

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Who Wants to Arm-Wrestle Gaige Grosskreutz?

Who Wants to Arm-Wrestle Gaige Grosskreutz?

I’m thinking of a sort of game show here.
The third guy drilled by well-armed Rittenhouse
Will, week on ever-painful week, appear
To take the medicine that such a louse
Deserves. The host could be, say, Mighty Mouse
Who’d flash his biceps, just what Gaige ain’t got.
We’d get to hear the star (and target) grouse,
And then some guest would punish him – a lot.
Contestants would be bodybuilders – not!
Instead, I picture ladies old and frail
But eager, in their way, to have a shot
At Mr. Grosskreutz and to make him wail—
Plus, tiny children of a tender age.
Most anyone with arms can now beat Gaige.

–Tom Riley

Late 1950s/1960s depiction of Mighty Mouse used in the opening of TV prints of some cartoons