Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Schematica

Schematica

In the grand
scheme of things, how can
your scheming matter?

–Tom Riley

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Righteous Anger

Righteous Anger

Merrick Garland is eager to sue.
In the name of the red, white, and blue,
He will make Texas pay
For its filthy display
Of a far-less-than-bloodthirsty view!

–Tom Riley

APTOPIX Justice Department Texas Abortions

Opting Out and In

Opting Out and In

Hell-bent Taliban? Joe didn’t opt
To resist when those thugs deftly hopped
All the fences erected:
Zeal was there undetected.
Pro-life Texas, though, has to be stopped!

–Tom Riley

Biden Triumphant

Biden Triumphant

Yes, Joe is going to beat this COVID thing—
The same way that he beat the Taliban
And Corn Pop. He’s already triumphing!
Yes, Joe is going to beat this COVID thing!
He must be hailed as anti-COVID king!
Victory laps will follow. Come on, man!
Yes, Joe is going to beat this COVID thing
The same way that he beat the Taliban!

–Tom Riley

U.S. President Joe Biden speaks about combatting the coronavirus pandemic in the State Dining Room of the White House on September 9, 2021 in Washington, DC. As the Delta variant continues to spread around the United States, Biden outlined his administration's six point plan, including a requirement that all federal workers be vaccinated against Covid-19. Biden is also instructing the Department of Labor to draft a rule mandating that all businesses with 100 or more employees require their workers to get vaccinated or face weekly testing.

80 Percent Is Not Sufficient!

80 Percent Is Not Sufficient!

Four jihadis we traded alive
For Bowe Bergdahl amidst boundless jive
From lame Democrat tweeters
Are now Taliban leaders.
“Hey, why not,” cries Obama, “all five?”

–Tom Riley

President Barack Obama makes a statement about the release of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl as his parents, Jani Bergdahl (L) and Bob Bergdahl (R) listen May 31, 2014 in the Rose Garden

Descent Is Certain

Descent Is Certain

Newsom ousted? The chances are small.
Democrats always cheat, after all.
Still, I firmly contend
Justice wins in the end.
Into Hell will that pencil neck fall!

–Tom Riley

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E-Epistemology

E-Epistemology

I haven’t seen it on a screen—
And therefore it does not exist.
Nobodies make a frightful scene?
I haven’t seen it on a screen.
Electrons pointedly careen
For real events, I must insist.
I haven’t seen it on a screen,
And therefore it does not exist.

–Tom Riley

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Captain Gaymerica

Captain Gaymerica

“What we need is a hero who’s gay
So let red, white, and blue Cap sashay
Across super-woke stages
That fill 4-color pages!”
You won’t sell many comics that way.

–Tom Riley

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I’m My Own Sinner

I’m My Own Sinner

Do I sin? Yes, I frequently sin—
And at times with a devilish grin.
My existence is shady—
But, at your orgy, lady,
I am glad that I never fit in.

–Tom Riley

Reality’s Mirror

Reality’s Mirror

I’m a cis-gendered male (that is, “guy”).
About this I see no cause to lie.
As wild futures draw nearer,
In reality’s mirror
I look cheerfully, smile, and say hi.

–Tom Riley