Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Counting Syllables

Counting Syllables

 

 

To rhymed forms his aversion was strong–
So he opted for haiku. Not long
did it take to complete
his example. Dude: sweet!
But the haiku too, lad, you got wrong.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Patient Universe

The Patient Universe

 

 

“I pit my skill against the universe!”
The patient universe did not engage.
“Loss hurts, but inactivity hurts worse.
I pit my skill against the universe!
My challenge I shall endlessly rehearse!
I am the tortured hero of my age!
I pit my skill against the universe!”
The patient universe did not engage.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Extra! Extra!

Extra! Extra!

 

 

Hey, you extras! You make Bill Nye sick!
He will penalize you for the trick
Of existing. But I
Move we penalize Nye
For existing as pencil-necked prick.

 

 

–Tom Riley

It’s Not All about You

It’s Not All about You

 

 

Ha! You thought I was speaking of you!
To that end you discovered no clue–
for there was none to find.
You were not on my mind–
But assumed, as all narcissists do.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Democrats

Democrats

 

 

Democrats are the height of purity.
Just ask them and they’ll tell you — tell you true.
You’re unconvinced? Why, then, the problem’s you!
You’ll have to be investigated, see?
Democrats don’t proceed illegally.
The law indeed adores them through and through.
It morphs to suit their whole delightful crew.
It serves them as it wouldn’t you or me.
Democrats therefore get to lecture us.
Line up to listen, stupid — and obey!
The virtuous can be imperious.
You will be quiet as they have their say.
You’re not allowed to be as stubborn cuss.
Alter your thoughts at their command — today!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Friends

Friends

 

 

Friends, you’re happy to say, you don’t lack–
Although some of your friends are on crack,
their acts endlessly vile.
Go ahead: chat and smile–
But prepare for the knife in the back.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Angry

Angry

 

 

Sometimes, guy, though you wish to spew spittle,
You must rein in your anger a little.
Though you want vengeance bad,
though you’re boundlessly mad,
God does not care one jot or one tittle.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Captain Playactor

Captain Playactor

 

 

Cap’s big head just got bigger — and lighter.
On his own line the prick is a biter–
and has reeled himself in.
Let correction begin!
You’re an actor, dear sir, not a fighter.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Chris Evans hopes he “runs into” ex-Marine Nathan Damigo.)

Half Defined

Half Defined

 

 

Some take pride in a half-defined sonnet.
Me, I call the gods’ worst curse upon it.
If you take the loose path,
may you taste Delphic wrath!
If the robe doesn’t fit, then don’t don it.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Its Own Reward

Its Own Reward

 

 

Virtuous Brutus did sly Cassius in.
Remember: virtue is its own reward.
Eschewing actual and mental sin,
Virtuous Brutus did sly Cassius in.
Explain this dismal process? Why begin?
The sword that we explain is still a sword.
Virtuous Brutus did sly Cassius in.
Remember: virtue is its own reward.

 

 

–Tom Riley