The girls who came to see you on the screen
Were horrified – and fascinated, too.
You were the sort of man they’d never seen.
Their outward yearning fixed its heart on you.
They’re dead now, Dracula. Hey, there are few
Who ever make it out of here alive!
Do vampires have a program to pursue—
Or is that all just Transylvanian jive?
Incredibly, you manage to survive.
Though Frank Langella may have tried the role,
It’s after you that all aspirants strive.
It’s with your victims, sir, that we condole—
And, though they will not say so, females still
Stand mesmerized and let you work your will.