Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Speechification

Speechification

English teacher gives speech. Is she dumb?
Not at all. But she renders us numb.
Is there pride overweening?
Is there deep moral meaning?
Sure, there is. It is clear now. Ho-hum.

–Tom Riley

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Essentials of the Faith

Essentials of the Faith

Climactic change? The pope speaks boldly out.
Oil profiteers endure humiliation
For vile assaults on our civilization.
Some points of faith can never be in doubt—
And this is one of them. The papal shout
Echoes throughout the corners of Creation.
This is no time for your damn obfuscation!
Burn at the stake, you science-hating lout!
Still, he’s not all just papal bossiness.
He’s also mastered pastoral restraint.
When Irish idiots are voting yes
On killing babies, is he pissed? He ain’t.
What should the pathics do? He’ll let them guess.
The slaughter starts. He issues no complaint.

–Tom Riley

La Ciudad Chicana

La Ciudad Chicana

(for Alejandro Oropeza)

More than half of my town is Latino.
My significance? Like a neutrino!
Am I worrying? Not.
I like Mexes a lot—
Though Italians produce better vino.

–Tom Riley

No Powers

No Powers

Tim Powers is the guy Shea wants to be—
A clear improvement, we can all agree.
Ambition, though, is here cause for despair:
Actual writing talent isn’t there.

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea describes his developing novel.)

Of Flab, Feces, and Fiction

Of Flab, Feces, and Fiction

Shea is writing a novel. His wit
From that labor will not stray a bit
Till the work is complete.
For his fans, what a treat:
They can eat a whole new kind of shit!

–Tom Riley

Hateful

Hateful

Am I hateful? They say I am. Good!
In hostility’s fine neighborhood,
I have built a fine house.
Though I may be a louse,
I hate only those punks that I should.

–Tom Riley

Mors Servi

Mors Servi

John McCain sends a globalist tweet.
His enslavement has long been complete—
So he hates Trump, who’s free.
John will croak presently.
Bye, bye, John. Hope you find your Hell sweet!

–Tom Riley

Mockery

Mockery

“Do you mock me?” Why, yes: with delight.
I could laugh through the day and the night
At your dull self-regard,
So ill-wrought and ill-starred.
And to wrong you is finally right.

–Tom Riley

Amphibious

Amphibious

Frog refuses to star in haiku
From my hand. What’s a poet to do?
Ha! The answer I know,
My batrachian foe!
I have learned to write rhyming forms, too.

–Tom Riley

Decisive Action

Decisive Action

Wise Pope Francis is moved heart and soul
To proceed toward that safer-church goal.
Vision clear, never muddy,
He’ll initiate… study!
(Or perhaps this is damage control.)

–Tom Riley

(Pope restarts commission on child sex abuse.)