Cats and Dogs

Cats and Dogs

My Bichon would be almost a cat
if he weren’t such a sissified brat,
if he whined a bit less,
cleaned himself with success,
and consistently buried his scat.

–Tom Riley

Species Dysphoria

Species Dysphoria

Trained his dog
to do a cat impression.
Was that success?

–Tom Riley

Another Option

Another Option

Some opt indeed for dogs – and they’re okay.
Some opt for cats instead. All right, I get it.
But my allegiance goes another way:
I opt for snakes, dear people. There: I said it.
Our furry friends are too damn similar
To us. They show the wretched urge to cuddle.
From all that crap, the serpent coils afar
And boldly offers us a cold rebuttal.
A reptile pet is more a fierce machine.
The snake is smoothly streamlined for survival.
Such calm efficiency does not demean.
In its own realm, the serpent know no rival.
Against that strength my spirit will not harden,
Whatever happened in some mythic garden.

–Tom Riley

Manifestations

Manifestations

 

Carmilla manifested as a cat.

I wish that she had purred a bit at me.

I’m well aware there’s peril, guys, in that.

Carmilla manifested as a cat—

But never, on a lap I know of, sat.

I have no doubt she slinked impressively.

Carmilla manifested as a cat.

I wish that she had purred a bit at me.

 

–Tom Riley

La Reina del Sur, S1E1

La Reina del Sur, S1E1

El Güero, poor guy, isn’t fine.
He’s succumbed to an evil design.
Pity now Teresita!
¡Ella llora – y grita!
It turns out that el Gato is swine.

–Tom Riley

Late Gift

Late Gift

 

(for Grace Bozyk)

 

A day late and a million dollars short,
I’m giving you a kind of birthday gift.
My meters I align, my rhymes I sift.
The Muse indeed I do not need to court—
For, next to you, she’s quite a common sort.
Those she entices always end up stiffed.
Her breath depresses me, but you uplift
With good looks, clever brain, and true support.
What gift will please? Oh, I’m a puzzled cat
Facing the question that this moment poses!
If you had enemies, I’d break their noses.
Your husband, though, can better handle that.
I give you words, though words at last fall flat:
A dozen (plus two more) poetic roses.

 

Happy Birthday, 2017!

 

“Gramps” Riley

Exotic Imports

Exotic Imports

 

 

(for Grace)

 

 

I hope a lizard doesn’t get your cat.
Here it should be the other way around.
Even a cat that’s lazy, old, and fat
ought to defeat a lizard. I have found
that lizards’ little crania are crowned
with wits that make all cats seem quite as smart
as Leonardo, geniuses profound
indeed, supreme in science and in art.
But great big stupid lizards? They might start
getting the better of our feline friends.
If one gets yours, my dear, don’t fall apart.
Oh, natural selection never ends!
Don’t fall for that environmental shit.
Grace: evolution hurts. Get used to it.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Never

Never

 

 

NEVER.  The Union would fight on.  Mankind would live free.

Or die.

 

 

–H. Paul Honsinger and Harvey G. Phillips, For Honor We Stand

 

 

“Never!” they cried – we cried – with one fierce voice.

All through the ship, the men stomped their defiance.

The overlords had given us a choice.

“Never!” we cried.  If ethics is a science,

If there is such a thing as self-reliance,

Then in that moment we discovered space

Beyond the realm of fear and of compliance

And looked the choice of choices in the face.

Servility was gone without a trace.

Survival wasn’t all that we desired

Or all that we aspired to.  As a race,

We told our overlords that they were fired.

They heard the hissing of a billion cats.

It’s possible they even chittered: “Rats!”

 

 

–Tom Riley

An Oath

An Oath

 

 

I swore to feed your liver to my cat–

And who am I to set aside an oath?

You beg for final mercy?  As to that,

I swore to feed your liver to my cat.

Your liver’s full of protein — and of fat.

I’m sure my cat exists in need of both.

I swore to feed your liver to my cat.

And who am I to set aside an oath?

–Tom Riley

(First appeared in Trinacria, Issue No. 8, Fall 2012)