Speaking Moistly

Speaking Moistly

 

Jimmy Mattis and other such queers—
Some who haven’t been heard from for years—
Now derive an erection
From the stolen election
As they moistly speak forth deep state fears.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Good Old Rebel

A Good Old Rebel

 

We are told to unite behind Joe.
Such subservience didn’t come slow
In the unmanly hell
Where the RINO types dwell.
I will not act in unison, though.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Trackin’ the Kraken

Trackin’ the Kraken

 

Hath the Kraken at last been released?
On its foes will it presently feast?
An attorney I’m not,
So I can’t say a lot.
But I sure wish good luck to the beast.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Mortal Judgment

Mortal Judgment

 

Sometimes, of course, it is for me to judge.
Fox News will shortly go the way of Drudge.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Dominion

Dominion

 

Your votes don’t matter. Not one little bit.
Why, look: Dominion gives us all the votes
That we require! Cease with indignant shit!
Your votes don’t matter – not one little bit.
We in the seat of counting duly sit
And stone your votes. The networks hold our coats.
Your votes don’t matter. Not one little bit!
Why, look! Dominion gives us all the votes….

 

–Tom Riley

 

On the Up and Up

On the Up and Up

 

Did Joe pull ahead fairly? Damn right!
Why won’t you MAGA freaks see the light?
I defend Joe sincerely.
For a Democrat, clearly,
New votes always appear overnight.

 

–Tom Riley

At the Fakery Bakery

At the Fakery Bakery

 

Against fake news so many have railed!
Have attempts at correction, then, failed?
Have complaints gone unheard?
By fake news we’re assured
That fake voting must not be assailed.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Fact-Checker Certified

Fact-Checker Certified

 

Biden won fair and square. Yes, it’s true.
Those who question do not have a clue.
Right-wing crazies: despair!
Biden won fair and square.
And, what’s more, Epstein killed himself, too.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Brief Summary of the 2020 Presidential Election to Date

A Brief Summary of the 2020 Presidential Election to Date

 

Trump tweeted.
Biden cheated.

Coverage sucked.
Romney cucked.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Hot Off the Presses

Hot Off the Presses

 

We print new votes the way that we print money.
Of vote inflation do not be afraid.
Our prospects for empowerment are sunny.
We print new votes the way that we print money.
We find your fierce objections simply funny.
In our school, you could never make the grade.
We print new votes – the way that we print money.
Of vote inflation do not be afraid!

 

–Tom Riley