Hard of Hearing

Hard of Hearing

 

Some find all of this bullshit endearing—

But not I.  No, to me it’s appearing

That it’s morons who care

For their time on the air

In what’s called a congressional hearing.

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

Auntie Maxine and the Blue Wave

Auntie Maxine and the Blue Wave

Maxine Waters? Abysmal IQ
Makes her urge other morons to do
What will not help their cause.
I respond with guffaws.
The wave brought about thus won’t be blue.

–Tom Riley

Naked Pictures

Naked Pictures

 

To see the Donald naked was the goal
Of Adam Schiff. Oh, what a hunk of man
The Donald was! The shifty one began
To be obsessed — and that state takes its toll
On puny body and on smutty soul.
As only congresscreatures truly can,
He adhered to a strange and twisted plan
And, for the parts he sought, gave up the whole.
Later, he said he knew the crazy news
Was just a prank. He said he knew? Yeah, right!
Losers make just such protests when they lose.
The evidence that pranksters brought to light
Definitively contradicts such views.
(The disappointment makes Schiff weep at night.)

 

—Tom Riley

Back to the Story

Back to the Story

 

 

Like Trump’s own tweet, that Nunes revelation
Was short on, well, accepted evidence.
It seemed like a Republican creation
To interrupt the order of events.
Vile Trump supporters have their discontents.
They do not like the Russian narrative
That we have shaped with stagecraft and suspense.
They offer facts as empty palliative.
This is another crime we can’t forgive.
For challenging our script, they have to pay.
In their world, be assured, we shall not live.
Instead, we’ll sweep their nasty world away—
And never let untimely revelations
Distract from pointed Russian allegations.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Democrats and media react to news that Trump was right about surveillance.)

Dutch Babies

Dutch Babies

 

 

Steve King just spat on someone else’s babies.
(The congressfellow, not the horror guy.)
He is a heretic. No room for maybes.
Mark Shea has ruled – which ought to satisfy
The skeptical. All borders are a lie.
The Netherlands and these United States
Must hear the alien’s Islamic cry
And let his babies in. Embrace your fates,
O Christian cultures! At increasing rates,
Those babies, bound to grow, must be admitted.
Your subjugation certainly awaits.
For burkas must your daughters now be fitted.
Mark Shea says: “Don’t you spit on babies, fools!”
But, if those babes look edible, he drools.

 

 

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally Mark Shea decries “heresy….”)

On Their Asses

On Their Asses

 

 

There they sit on their asses, demanding
that the vast state get busy expanding
its tyrannical power.
There they sit, hour by hour.
They are asses, though, even when standing.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Congressional Democrats stage sit-in for gun control.)

Not a Word

Not a Word

 

 

Before Congress, he said not a word
against sales that had lately occurred:
baby livers and hearts–
and, of course, other parts.
Be assured that his silence was heard.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Avoidance

Avoidance

 

 

Pope pleads hard for the guys on death row.
Ever on with their lives let them go!
But the infant whose tomb
is his own mother’s womb?
That’s an impolite subject, you know.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Pope opposes death penalty but not abortion in speech to Congress.)

Democrat Response

The Democrat Response

 

 

“Netanyahu? A loser! Oh, man,
how we hate when he does what he can
to protect his own nation
from the fierce conflagration
that’s been promised by friendly Iran!”

 

 

–Tom Riley

Joint Session

Joint Session

 

 

To the Congress he speaks — and he calls
for strong action as common sense stalls
in the White House. Act now!
Act while time will allow!
Congress, though, doesn’t have any balls.

 

 

–Tom Riley